Adventures in Camping
by cuttheshenanigans
Summary: Edward and Bella don't exactly like each other. At least, they don't appear to. What happens when Carlisle and Charlie insist on everyone going camping together? Will happiness or hate ensue? ALL HUMAN!
1. Vacations Are Supposed to Sound Fun

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. *sobs*

**Summary**: Edward and Bella have always been enemies but what happens when Carlisle and Charlie insist on everyone going camping together? ALL HUMAN.

**Note**:This was rewritten. So I would definitely read it again if I were you.

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**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 1: Vacations Are Supposed to be Fun  
**

_**BPOV**_

To say that I was annoyed was an understatement. No I was more than that. I was furious. And in case you haven't guessed it, Edward Cullen, as usual, is the source of my fury. He had crossed me for the last time. I walked towards his locker. When I got there his back was turned to me. So I kicked him to get his attention. He spun around.

"What did you do!?" I said to him and he grinned. Jerk.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"YOU TOLD EVERYONE I WAS DATING MIKE NEWTON! AND NOW HE THINKS WE _ARE_ DATING!" Everyone in the hallway stared at me. I blushed.

"Oops." I walked away from him and out the door before I could kill him. I'd probably regret it later. Not the killing him part but the part where Charlie would have to arrest his own daughter.

I guess I should explain. See, my dad and Edward's dad have always been good friends but were never forced together. Mostly we just ignored each other. I was forced together with Rosalie and Alice. We were best friends now. Edward had started getting on my nerves in junior high when in the cafeteria, he SPILLED HIS CHILLI ALL OVER ME WHEN HE 'TRIPPED'! But I know for a fact that he did it on purpose as a dare that one of his friends made him do. Whatever, I'm over it. But the hate remains.

As I rounded the corner of my truck I saw Mike leaning against the front door of my truck. He saw me. Dang it.

"Hey Bells." I think he was trying to say this in a sexy voice but I was still severely turned off by him.

"Um...hi."

"So, I was wondering...since you and I are boyfriend and girlfriend now-" I cut him off, horrified. He said YOU as in ME and I as in HIM and BOYFRIEND and GIRLFRIEND in the same sentence. Mix those words up along with Edward and you get me beating him to death.

"We are _not_ dating Mike." I made sure to emphasize the 'not.'

"Okay."

"Look Mike I know you-. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?"

"I said okay."

"Really? Are you serious?" Wow. This is certainly a change. Maybe Mike isn't as big of an idiot as I thought he was.

"Sure. If my little spice melon wants to pretend we're not gong out to downplay the attention we're getting at school then fine."

"I AM NOT YOUR SPICE MELON!" At that moment I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Edward pass by my truck laughing madly. Did I say beating to death? I meant strangle to death. Much quicker. Mike interrupted my violent thoughts. More reason to be annoyed with him.

"Look, spice melon, I know that we are different in many ways. But WE BELONG TOGETHER! I wrote this poem for you." He took out a crumpled peace of paper while everyone in the parking lot looked on, hearing Mike's outburst, except for Jessica who, I could tell from the icy tone she used with me today, wasn't exactly happy with me and Mike going out.

NO! WAIT! I MEAN RUMOR THAT MIKE AND I WERE GOING OUT! DAMMIT EDWARD, YOU MADE ME MIX MY WORDS UP TOO! Mike cleared his throat.

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. We belong together. Mariah Carey deemed it so. WE LOVE EACH OTHER! Ummmm, that's as far as I got." Everyone in the lot busted into laughter.

I was speechless. First, it made sense. At least the poem did. But I don't like him like that AND the poem didn't even rhyme! Before I could slap Mike for publicly humiliating me, Rosalie swooped in and grabbed my shoulders in restraint. Alice shoved Mike away while he yelled, "GOOD BYE SPICE MELOOOOON!"

Yep, Edward was as good as mince meat in my eyes.

My two best friends made sure I got into my truck saying soothing words to me. Soothing wasn't going to help me kill Edward so I just ignored them. I drove away from that spot.

As I walked into the house, I heard Charlie on the phone with someone. He quickly said goodbye and hung up on whoever he was talking to and said, "BELLA! We're going camping!"

"We are?" Why would Charlie want to go _camping_? He didn't strike me as the type of person who would like that kind of stuff.

"Yep. With a friend of mine and his family." I should have suspected who he meant right there but I didn't. If I had it would have prepared me for the next few words.

"With Dr. Cullen."

_**LATER...**_

I was talking to Alice on the phone.

"...Anyways, my spring break is ruined now!"

"OHMYGODBELLA! Did you know there's NO electricity in the forest!? NONE! Why couldn't Charlie and Carlisle have arranged for us to go to somewhere else, like Hawaii! I hear the tanning is good there."

"Alice. You are not listening to me. I have to spend two weeks with _EDWARD- ANNOYS- THE- HELL- __OUT- OF- ME- CULLEN!_"

"What's your point?"

"Did you know what he did to me today?"

"Oh please. Bella remember when that guy, Dick, had a crush on me in PRE-K but he always said really mean things to me?" Of course, I remembered him! You don't forget names like that.

"Yeah."

"Good. Then you know that Esme said that was because he had a crush on me. When people do cruel things to each other it's because they like each other."

"OR it's because they really hate each other."

"Fine. Live in denial. Rose and I are coming over. We have to pick our outfits for camping."

"Are you kidding me? Alice we're gonna be in the for-"I heard the phone click. Alice had hung up. _And_ I was stuck with this trip.

Life had worked out so well.

The doorbell rang. There was no way Alice and Rosalie had gotten here so fast unless...

The door opened.

"HEY BELLA! Bet you wanna know how we got here so fast huh?"

"Yes, I would."

"We were already on our way here! We have to make you look good for Edward."

"Ugh. Rose, you believe that crap too?"

"It's not crap. It's true."

WHY ME!?

_**EPOV**_

Alice and Rosalie had teased me to no end about the camping trip.

"In the quiet peaceful forest, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan snuggle-"

"Rosalie, do you know what I did to Bella today?"

"Yes. It's because you like her."

"No, it's because we're enemies." Rose and Alice gave each other a knowing look.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight." Then they walked out the door. Probably to go to some mall.

Okay, it was a lie. I sort have had a crush on Bella since I saw her. I knew the hate started after I dumped chili on Bella in middle school. Emmett dared me to after I said over and over again that I didn't like her. Why are my family members insisting that I do like her? I mean, I did but still. They're not supposed to know that.

_**Twenty Minutes later...**_

Rosalie and Alice busted through the front door holding a squirming Bella by each arm. Bella looked at me, pleading for me to help her with her eyes. But she must of realized what she was doing because then, her eyes tightened in anger.

"Maybe you guys should loosen up on the whole death grip." Rosalie and Alice swiveled to look at me and then slowly smiled.

"Helllllooooo Edward. What are you doing here?"

"I live here, Alice."

"We know. But you're standing by the door. Are you waiting for something? Someone?" I immediately became defensive.

"I didn't know you were coming here with Bella. I told you I don't like her." I saw a hurt look flash in Bella's eyes but I quickly strode out of there when I saw the deadly looks on Rosalie's and Alice's faces. They were going to kill me for that later but I knew that Bella didn't like me so what was the point of trying to impress her anyway?

_**BPOV**_

Edward walked out the foyer and into the living room after he said those words to me. The words that made me forget my anger with him. _I don't like her. _The words shouldn't even bother me but they did. Alice and Rosalie were constantly saying that I liked Edward and it was kind of... true. Well... I mean...I just...I don't...UGH. I don't know. I can kinda see why girls swoon over him. With those green eyes and that soft bronze hair.... I quickly shook my head to get rid of those thoughts. I told myself that I was supposed to hate him but that wasn't working so I concentrated on the words Alice was saying.

"Edward, is having a bad day, Bella. Just ignore him." Rosalie was quick to agree. Then we were in front of the worse room in the Cullen mansion. The make- up room. Yes, Rosalie had persuaded Esme to get them a MAKE- UP ROOM. Once more I questioned why I came to this house anymore. And then I remembered. My trips here were never voluntary. They dragged me here after I started to complain about the room.

As they smothered me in cosmetic and clothes I didn't even wanna think about, much less look at, I wondered exactly what would happen on the camping trip. And then shuddered at the thought.

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Please review to tell me if you liked the changes. And keep in mind that I will try to make the next chapters longer which makes you happy. But I wont be happy without some reviews. Just throwing that out there.**

Next Chapter: The Car Ride


	2. Rosalie's Hair is My Downfall

**Disclaimer:** I STILL don't own Twilight.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO PUT ME/STORY ON ALERT AND/OR FAVORITES!**

**P.S. I re-wrote the first chapter for you all. And now it includes dialogue from Mike!**

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****Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 2**

_**BPOV**_

Emmett was getting on my last nerves. Oh wait no, sorry. Correction: Emmett was getting on EVERYONE'S nerves. So you know that movie, _Are We There Yet? _Remember those kids in the back seat who were always saying, "Are we there yet?" Well picture Emmett saying that only he didn't stop. EVER. Another example would be Donkey from _Shrek_ _2 _but enough of the stupid movie talk.

"Arewethereyetarewethereyetarewethereyetarewethereyetarewethereyetarewethereyetarewethereye-"

"Emmett, SHUT UP!" This came from Jasper. He kept trying to to calm everyone down with his soothing voice but with Emmett's excitement and everyone else's impatience, his attempts were futile. Sadly.

_Damn that Alice_, I thought. Alice was the reason I was even riding in the Volvo with hyper Emmett, extremely annoyed Jasper, still looking perfect even with the window open and wind whipping through her hair Rosalie and... Edward. I felt my heart flutter as I thought of his name. Then I told my heart to shut up. Anyway, Alice had planned ahead of time who would be riding with whom and of course, I got stuck with Edward. What a surprise. You know, you'd think that after all this time I would be able to anticipate Alice's actions. But no. Why does life hate me so?

"Look, all I wanna know is are we-"

"Emmett," Edward growled from the front seat, "the answer is, once again, still _NO_!"

I could tell Rosalie didn't like this. She and Alice wanted me and Edward to be alone together but thanks to Esme (remind me to start calling her 'GOD' now), who took pity on me, she suggested that everyone except Alice (Esme knew the dangers of a persistent pixie), Carlisle and Charlie take the Volvo. I LOVE this woman.

I remembered Alice's expression as she got into Carlisle's Mercedes. It looked serene. Which meant she had a back-up plan. I had a feeling this plan, involved me getting humiliated. But then again, every plan that involves Alice, involves me getting humiliated. My fears were confirmed as Rose took matters into her own hands with a seemingly innocent but in reality, horrifying statement. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

Emmett grinned at Rose from the passenger seat. For the sake of keeping this car ride G- rated everyone in the car (besides Em and Rose, of course) decided it would be a good idea to keep these two separated for the sake of our eyes. It was already too late for mine. I remembered it and shuddered. One time, I went over to the Cullen home, to see Alice or Rose. There was nothing to do at home...

_I knew that the doorbell was conveniently broken so I knocked instead. No one answered. I began to wonder what was going on. All the lights in the house were blazing. The Cullens wouldn't leave the house with all the lights on would they? I tried the doorknob and it opened. Fear had started to sink into every pore of my body. What if someone was hurt? What if someone was murdered? Oh God, what if the murderer was still here!? _

_Reaching into my purse I pulled out the pepper spray Charlie had given me after someone was mugged in the small and 'innocent' town of Forks and held it in front of me as I entered the house slowly. Repeatedly, I checked my sides and my unprotected back. I tip-toed up the staircase. It's a good thing the Cullens were rich. If anything creaked or chipped or ripped, it was immediately replaced or fixed. If the stairs were creaky, the murderer would have been able to find me and then it would be Syonara world _**(AN: I can't speak Japanese so if I spelled that wrong, sorry.)**_ and hello angels with wings... or demons and fiery pits. I stupidly began to worry about where I was going after this life. One time when I was a kid I tripped and accidentally made my mom spill cranberry juice on a rug Gram had given us. _Once again my clumsiness is probably going to cause me to go to hell. Wonderful. _I thought._

_Noises started coming from Rose's bedroom. It sounded like kissing. Hmmmmmm.... I opened the door. _

And that's when I became scarred for life. Okay, so they weren't having sex or anything like that. They were just kissing. And getting WAY too into it. OH NO! I JUST GOT A MENTAL IMAGE!!! Rosalie snapped me back to reality.

"Okay. I'll start." She turned her head in my direction, grinning evilly. Uh- oh... "Bella. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." I knew what she would ask if she said truth. She would have cruelly asked me if I liked Edward, which I didn't, WHILE he was in the car. Rose had the nerve to do things like that. Part of me really didn't like that nerve one bit. Occasionally I wondered how the Cullen children ended up like this. Carlisle and Esme were pretty normal. It seemed to me as if Jasper and Edward were the only normal kids. But then again, they were all adopted.

"Okaaaaay. If that's what you want." She grinned evilly again. "I dare you to kiss-"

"OHMYGOD!" I screamed looking out the window behind Rosalie. She turned around, peering out the window while the boys except for Edward who was silently driving asked me what was going on. I quickly took a peanut butter sandwich from the basket on my lap Esme had packed for if we got hungry, opened the sandwich and reaching around Emmett (no easy feat. TRUST ME.) I stuck the opened peanut butter side to the back of her hair.

She immediately grabbed the back of her head to see what was suddenly sticking to her head pulled it off and realized what I'd done. She looked at me in shock. Then she screamed.

_**APOV**_

Ugh. I was tempted to call Rose to see if Bella had been dared to do something she would never have done of her own free will. For now, at least. Kiss Edward. I suddenly heard an ear- piercing scream coming from the Volvo. Carlisle swerved to the side of the road when the Volvo did too. Rosalie jumped out of the car balling her eyes out. And I was confused. Pretty sure the plan didn't involve crying. Unless Rose was trying to make it look like she was crying but instead was pretending to so Bella would kiss Edward which she refused to do in the car. Yeah, that was it.

"Rosalie! What's wrong?" Esme asked.

"BELLA GOT PEANUT BUTTER IN MY HAIR!" Charlie turned to Bella, not looking very pleased.

"It was an accident," Bella was looking suspiciously innocent. And I was _pissed_ and slightly in awe. Who knew Bella had it in her? She had dared to get peanut butter in ROSALIE'S HAIR! Girl had guts. BUT she had foiled my plans to get her and Edward to kiss. Ugh. I guess if wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself.

_**BPOV**_

I am so dead. Rose loves her hair. I don't know why she's reacting so strongly. It's not like its gum or anything. It was just peanut butter.

Charlie was giving me looks while Esme and Carlisle were calming Rose down (or at least attempting to). I didn't even want to see how Alice looked. Probably peeved. Rosalie and Emmett went into the Mercedes. So I was now stuck with Jasper and Edward. I don't think Edward cared about his hair much or I could probably get him kicked out of the car. We got into the Volvo and resumed the ride.

_**JPOV (Jasper)**_

That was one of the most uncomfortable 2 hours I have ever spent. Bella didn't say anything. Edward didn't say anything. And if I tried to start any conversation, they quickly ended it. What was up with these two? My cellphone buzzed. I opened it

**1 NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM ALICE (note: alice's texts are italicized and jasper's are bold)**

_JAZZ?_

**What's wrong Alice?**

_Nothing. This is so boring. Emmett is trying to lead us all in song. I swear to god if I have to sing row, row, row your boat one more time..._

**Ha ha. I don't think killing Em will be very wise. There's a police officer in that car you know.**

_LOL. True. Anyway, how's the ride in there?_

**Same as yours. Except there's no nursery rhymes. It's just silence.**

_I think I can change that._

**What do you mean?**

_Follow my instructions, okay Jazz? _

**Alright. What do you want me to do?**

_**BPOV**_

Silence was all there was in the Volvo. The only noise was the purr of the Volvo and the keys on Jasper's cellphone. Suddenly he decided to try to start conversation _again._

"Hey Edward?"

"What's up Jazz?"

"Ummm." He looked down at the cell phone screen. "Can you pull over? I feel a little nauseous."

"Sure." He frowned, looking concerned. Jasper got out and walked over to the Mercedes which was parked on the side of the road behind us. He chatted for a second then he came back.

"I'm gonna ride with Alice in the Mercedes. See you guys."

And I watched as the only thing that kept the Volvo from being totally uncomfortable walked away. So basically I was in a car. All alone. With EDWARD FREAKING CULLEN! He suddenly cleared his throat.

"So..."

"So...what?"

"Um... I don't know. We're in this car for at least another hour so I figured we should at least _try _to make conversation.

"Oh. Right." I blushed.

"I know. How about we ask each other questions."

"About what?"

"About ourselves."

"Oh. Okay." He smiled a crooked smile so breathtakingly beautiful that I had to blush. Again.

"What's your favorite color?"

"It changes from day to day."

"What is your favorite color today, then?" I opened my mouth and then clamped it shut. No way was I going to tell him my favorite color was green (the same as his eyes). I would just blush as soon as I said it and then he'd wonder why. And blah blah blah.

"Well?" He looked at me expecting an answer. I decided to go with a lie.

"Pink," I blurted without thinking. Pink? It's not like I hated the color but it wasn't exactly on the top ten. I was kind of afraid of pink. When I was four, my mother bought me a Barbie all clothed in pink. She even had pink streaks in her fake hair. I brought it with me everywhere and then I dropped it right when a dog and its owner were passing me on the sidewalk. It chewed up my toy to my dismay and then spit out the head and body. The sad part was they weren't connected so of course I balled my eyes out. Yep, pink brings out the worst memories. There was that other time when... you know what? I think I'll just keep that to myself.

"Pink?" He sounded amused. "I never figured you were a pink kind of person."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I was defensive now. Not just because I didn't want him to figure about the eye color thing but because pink was Rosalie's favorite color and for some reason people think it's beautiful blonde people like Rose who like pink. It annoyed the hell out of her even if they were right.

"Nothing. You just never wear pink." My breath caught. He was onto me.

"So? Just because I like pink doesn't mean I have to wear it. What did you think my favorite color was?" I was trying to distract him and it pleased me when it worked. Edward looked at me, thoughtful now.

"You seem like a red kind of person to me." My eyes widened because that DID used to be my favorite color after the Barbie incident... Then for a while it was blue and then I looked into his eyes for the first time and it became green. To be honest, it kind of scared me that he saw through me so well. Did that mean I couldn't lie to him without him figuring out the truth just by staring at me for five seconds? And since when do I have civil conversations with him? I closed my eyes, not really sleeping and after a few minutes he spoke to me.

"Bella? Bella are you awake?" I feigned sleep, not wanting him to interrogate me even though I wanted so badly to ask about him. My body turned to face away from him so I could discreetly took out my cell phone to text one of my sane friends, Angela. I had to type slowly though so Edward wouldn't notice. I told her everything that had happened in the Volvo so far.

**(AN: Bella's texts are in bold and Angela gets italics.)**

_So you DO like him now, huh? _

**NO!**

_Then why is your favorite color the same as his eyes AND why do you want to ask him questions about himself?_

**Oh please, Ang. This is Edward Cullen we're talking about. I'm just curious.**

_Sure. I don't know if you've noticed but even your texts sound like lies now. _

**I don't like him! Why won't anyone believe me when I say that?**

_Sorry Bella but that might have something to do with the fact that you're a horrible liar. _

**Okay, so I'm a bad liar but I really don't like him. I swear!**

_Fine. Live in denial._

**WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT TO ME!?**

_You mean Alice?_

**Yes!**

_Tell her my dad got me the LIMITED EDITION COACH PURSE! TWO OF THEM IN DIFFERENT COLORS! I'll give one to her when she gets back. That is crucial info. You know she's been dying for it! And so have I!!!! =)_

**Don't you have her number? **

_She bought a new cell phone._

**AGAIN!?**

_Turn the texting down an octave Bella. The all caps are giving me a headache. I have to go now. The twins are bugging me for some juice. See ya. _

I closed my phone, extremely annoyed now. Everyone thinks I like Edward when I so clearly don't. We annoy each other on a daily basis. Does that sound like the basis of a good foundation for a relationship? And then it occurred to me- _What if Edward himself_ thought I had a crush on him? Not that I cared 'cause I don't but still! I wouldn't want him to believe such nonsense. Yep.

After enduring about another hour of confusing thoughts swirling around my head, the car started to slow down. Were we pulling over? I bolted up in my seat and looked out the window and realized I was wrong. There was a sign:

**Duncan E. Jorges Camping Grounds**

"_We make camping fun!"_

I scoffed at the sign, doubting that anything could make this trip enjoyable. The car pulled into a parking lot and I looked over at Edward for the first time since faking sleep. He must have noticed I was staring because he then turned to me and smiled that crooked smile of his which made me stop breathing for a couple of seconds. Goddamn beautiful smile...

"Are you ready?" he asked. I nodded and he got out of the car to open the door for me to my surprise. After, he got the luggage out of the trunk. The Mercedes was next to us and Alice bounced out and walked swiftly towards me while Rosalie ran to the bathroom. Possibly in an effort to remove the peanut butter from her hair. I felt bad about that now. She was going to ignore me unless I apologized or more like, groveled hard enough.

"Hey Bella!" Alice greeted me happily.

"Angela texted me and told me that she got two limited edition Coach purses. She's going to give you one-" I didn't even get to finish that sentence. Alice started jumping, running around and hugging everyone while simultaneously talking to Angela on her phone. The rest of the Cullens and Charlie were grinning in absolute bliss, convinced that this trip would be great. And of course, life, being the bitch she is, decided to make me the only unhappy one here.

This was going to be such a fun spring break. I was hanging out with Edward, whom I despised while my two best friends WITH the aid of their all- too- willing boyfriends tried to get me and said enemy to hook up.

Just call me lucky.

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**AN: YAY! This is longer than the first chapter. Sorry it took so long to update but between school and writer's blocks, this took a while. Remember to review! Reviews make me happy which makes me spend more time writing chapters which makes them come faster which makes you happy. EVERYBODY WINS!**


	3. The Tale of Mister Soccer Disgrace

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. Whoop dee do for me.

******SEE IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM******

**Adventures in Camping **

**Chapter 3: The Tale of Mister Soccer Disgrace  
**

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"Emmett I think we should read the directions." I turned around to see Jasper looking at Emmett doubtfully. Emmett was holding some canvas, a bunch of poles and a hammer.

"Oh come _on_, Jazz. How hard can it be to set up some measly tent? Manuals are for wimps. _Real_ men such as myself scoff at manuals and instruction booklets. Besides I've done this before." He dumped the things he was holding on the floor.

"But-"

"Look, why don't you go sit with Bella on that log over there." His voice changed to one of falsetto. "Maybe you can, like, paint, like, each others' toenails or whatever." Emmett let out a high pitched giggle. Jasper looked angry. He took a pole from the heap on the floor and whacked Emmett's leg with it.

"OW! What was that for!?" Emmett held on to his leg, gasping in pain. I hoped it hurt. I didn't appreciate his earlier comment. Jasper walked away towards Alice, who was sorting through the clothes, smiling hugely.

"Edward!," Emmett was still gasping in pain as he called out to my arch-nemesis.

"What now Emmett?"

" Help me with this."

"Aren't _real_ men such as yourself capable of setting up a tent by yourself? You're on your own." God, Edward was such a jerk. He wouldn't help his very own brother who was in pain set up a tent that he was clearly incapable of setting up. Another reason to hate him!

**LATER...**

By the time Emmet 'finished' setting up the tent, it had punctures in it from the poles and...yeah it wasn't standing either. I know nothing about camping or tents but I'm pretty sure they're supposed to stand up. Alice was glaring at Emmett.

"EMMETT, YOU IDIOT! WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PUT OUR CLOTHES!?"

"Wait, Alice. That tent was exclusively for the use of storing our clothes?" She nodded. I turned to Emmett.

"Thanks Emmett!" Alice glared at me.

"So someone has to set up the campfire."Carlisle knew that it was time to stop Alice before someone got killed.

"I nominate Bella and Edward!" Rosalie is now on my hit list.

"YEAH! Me too!" Alice now looked positively exuberant. A full 180 from how she was a few seconds ago.

"No. I think Jasper should do it alone as a punishment for beating Emmett's leg." On a scale of one to ten, my love for Carlisle has reached one billion.

"BUT DAD-!" Alice and Rosalie whined at the same time.

"Sorry girls. Maybe some other time."

_**JPOV**_

Ugh. So I beat Emmett with a pole! What did it matter? He never used that leg for anything besides strutting around and being an arrogant fool. At least I had the decency to not hit him in the head. Emmett had so few brain cells... I bent by the middle of our camping grounds and arranged the kindle. Edward and Bella sat on opposite sides of it, on logs. They were just glaring at each other.

"So Jasper..." Bella spoke loudly to me, still glaring at Edward.

"Uh. Yeah Bells?"

"How was soccer practice? I hear you're the team captain!" Oh boy. I knew what she was doing. Edward and I had both tried out for the role of Captain in the soccer team. I won. Edward tried to be supportive and pretend that he didn't care but I saw right through him, feeling the resentment. I always had a knack for stuff like that...

"A BIG, STRONG, man like you must work out a lot if you were soooo talented to make captain on the team. What do you bench press?"

"Um, nothing. I just do a lot of running and these exercises called-" Bella interrupted to rub it into Eddie's face more.

"I'm sure its more than Edward who never got the role of captain."

"I WAS TIRED THAT DAY, ALRIGHT!" Edward walked away. Him and his diva tantrums. He suddenly looked back at me and snarled. I know right? I can't believe he snarled at _me _either. I was a breath of fresh air compared to Emmett. And how did he know what I was thinking? I looked back at Bella who was smirking, looking extremely pleased. She got up and crawled into a tent Emmett never got his hands on while I sat here, arranging kindle. No offers of help. Some friends I have.

_**BPOV**_

Alice apparently had heard the conversation outside. She smiled a knowing smile at me and turned back toward her suitcase. Or my suitcase. Or Rosalie's. Who really cares?

"Okay, so...you're obviously a winter Bella but we're camping so I had to-"

"I'm a what?" Usually I ignored Alice's fashion chats while I tried to read my book but I felt so guilty for what I said to Edward that I couldn't concentrate. Alice looked a bit surprised too, to see that I took a speck of interest in clothes.

"Winter. Like your fashion season. You are a winter so you wear clothes that are winter colors, like blue. Now as I was saying-"

"Eww. Winter." Winter was cold. And wet. Oh wait, it's _always_ cold and wet in Forks. More evidence of my sad life.

"Bella! Are you suddenly taking an interest in fashion?" I looked at her skeptically.

"Suit yourself," she continued. "But I'll get you one day. Now, as I was saying, we're camping so I went with clothes that were more camping-ish. Except camouflage."

"Too bad. I brought a camo hat and you can't stop me from wearing it." Hehehe. Your move now pixie!

" I went through your luggage before we left and threw it to the dogs. And I mean, real dogs. Mrs. Burnas's dogs are horrible things. She lets them off their leash at night and they always come home to her but not before they bark outside of our house. Emmett is this close to killing them." She held up her two hands and brought them together to show how close.

"Have you noticed these things always involve Emmett?" She laughed and then what she said fully sank in.

"Bella?" She noticed how my laughter cut off abruptly. How dare she show concern for me after what she did to my hat! That traitor.

"You fed my hat to some insane lady's dogs?" _Please say no please say no please say no please say no. _

"Yes." _Damn! _I made my way to crawl out but Alice blocked my exit.

"We want you to look pretty for Edward, Bella. We know he likes you. And you like him. So don't try to deny it for no good reason."

"We?" I had caught that

"Rosalie, me," she mumbled the last part real quiet. "Esme."

"Esme! I thought she was on my side!"

"Calm down. None of us have seen Edward with a girlfriend before and he needs one. Seriously. Are you still a lip virgin?" I felt my cheeks grow red and I looked down to avoid Alice's gaze. She must of figured out the answer through my expression. "Well, as fas as I know, so is Edward! So you can lose your lip virginity together! Kissing is wonderful! The feel of another person's soft lips moving against yours in perfect synchronization..." She closed her eyes probably remembering some make out session she had with Jasper. "Doesn't that sound romantic?"

"No. It sounds like lip porn."

"Ugh. Bella. Loosen up. I'll pick your outfit for you of course and you'd better wear it." She gave me a stern look then moved away from the zipper separating me from outside. "Now skedaddle."

I crawled out quickly before she changed her mind and decided she wanted to educate me in the reasons why polka dots should not be worn with stripes. Jasper was now sitting in front of the camp fire staring at the flames.

"Hey Bella?" he said without looking at me.

"Yeah?" I walked over to a log. He turned away from the fire to look at me.

"Why did you say that to Edward?"

"What are you talking about?" I fixed my face in what I hoped was an innocent expression.

"You reminded him of his disgrace on the soccer field. Although disgrace may be the wrong word here. You know he's a good player and he was this close..." Jasper took his thumb and fore finger and put them really close. "to being captain. He knows this and he feels that if he hadn't stayed up the night before being the mannequin for one of Alice's projects, he wouldn't have been tired during tryouts and therefore, would've destroyed me on the field." His hand dropped. I'm sure my heart did too. _Damn Jasper and his ability to make people feel guilty! _Seriously though,_ how_ did he do that?

"He deserved it for being a jerk." I wouldn't give Jazz the pleasure of knowing he'd gotten to me.

"Right. Mmhmmm. You're right. What am I saying? Edward should be punished for being unnecessarily nice to Alice. He shouldn't have done anything. She would have just gone to your house and kidnapped you to be the fashion mannequin anyway so there was no need to take your place. See ya, Bells." He then walked away while I silently called him a bunch of words that would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap if I had said them out loud. The sad part was he was right. Alice would have kidnapped me and forced me to be the mannequin while she made adjustments to that dress project she was working on. Rosalie had to do that too but she got to Esme first.

My phone buzzed. I looked at the Caller ID and saw Angela's face smiling at me. I answered.

"You know Ange, ever since you got your new phone you've been calling and texting me non- stop."

"This is important. You are in the woods with _Edward Cullen_. When you get back you'd better have him as your arm candy."

"Wouldn't bet on it if I were you." Angela huffed.

"Whatever Bella. So have you two made any progress in the relationship?"

"Angela, I'm going to hang up now. And if you call me back, I'm not going to pick up. _I'll_ call _you_ back when I feel like discussing my non- existent love life. 'Kay? Bye bye now." I hung up before she could yell at me for that.

Carlisle came out of his tent, holding a bag of marshmallows, yelling for everyone to come to the fire. They complied. We all sat and talked and laughed eating our s'mores. Edward looked fine. I chastised myself once more for feeling guilty. Then Emmett had to cause some sort of commotion, as was his job.

"Lets tell scary stories!" Everyone else groaned.

"Great I'll start first." He tapped his chin for a moment, thinking. "Have you guys ever heard the tale of the Great Bear?"

"Yes," answered Rosalie, "Is his name Emmett by any chance?" Emmett grinned down at her.

"You're so smart baby." He leaned down to kiss her. Jasper took this opportunity to grab a flashlight, hold it under his chin and actually _tell_ a scary story.

"Okay then," he spoke in a scratchy whisper, "One day there was a girl, her hair was long and black and her eyes sparkled like diamonds. She had a dark, dark secret though. She killed her very own boyfriend for revenge against cheating on her with her best friend. She decided that her ex- BFF was next on the list."

"Jasper did you just say BFF?" Edward looked amused.

"Shutup, Eddie boy. I'm talking here." Edward's eyes tightened in anger. He hated that nickname. "Anyways, the girl sneaked out of her house and walked in to the girl's bedroom. She took out her mother's butcher knife and chopped her head off, only instead of disposing it, she hung it on the wall for all who entered her ex- BFF's room to see and although the police tried to get it off the wall, it wouldn't... They say that the girl, now dead, haunts the living to find people who cheat on their wives and girlfriends and lovers. Their heads get chopped off and hung on the wall too. And legend also has it that she haunts this forest specifically 'cause she killed her boyfriend while he was on a camping trip here." Jasper switched off the flashlight. By the fire I could see Alice's eyes widened and Rosalie snuggled tight to Emmett. Esme just looked spooked. Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett and Jasper looked bored.

"Jazzy...that was AWESOME!" Alice exclaimed her face lighting up in pride. "You should tell the stories more often."

"Are you kidding me!? That was scary!" Rosalie was staring at Alice in disbelief. Esme nodded, still looking terrified. "And Bella!" Rose was looking at me now. "How can you sit there all calm!?" I shrugged, not trusting my voice. It would probably give me away. Honestly, I was scared too.

"Rosie, we've heard this story before so we're not spooked and Bella probably has too." Emmett looked at me for confirmation. I nodded. "See? And Alice is just weird." Alice looked up at him.

"I still haven't forgiven you for destroying the clothes tent," she said menacingly. I didn't think bad of Emmett at all for shrinking back. I would have too if I were him.

_**In Bella's, Alice's and Rosalie's tent that night...**_

I closed my eyes, getting ready to sleep. Day One complete. Thirteen more to go. Yipee.

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******IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE******

**It took me a while to update. And it will ALWAYS take me a while to update unless you guys review. Barely got any last time and I know how many people story alert this so I know at least half of you should review. That means 10 to 14 reviews**** for this chapter ****peoples! _AND_ as a bonus I will throw in a sneak peek to the next chapter if you review!  
**

**To clear up a few things:**

**Rosalie and Jasper are twins but they were adopted and live with the Cullens. ALL the CUllen children were adopted. Edward and Jasper don't have powers. NO ONE has powers. That's why this is called an ALL HUMAN story. I keep forgetting that Charlie is in this story so bear with me. If I forget about him, tell me in a review. Thanks! And if you're still confused about anything, you can just ask!  
**


	4. Edward Broods

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. But that's okay. I would've done a horrible job if I _had_ owned it.

Thanks to Loves. Jasper for the EPOV suggestion.

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**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 4: Edward Broods**

_**EPOV**_

I sat in a corner of the tent with Emmett, who was "dying from boredom," replaying the scene from earlier in my head:

_I was sitting across from Bella around the measly pile of kindle Jasper was arranging. We were glaring at each other. So what else is new? _

"_So Jasper..." Bella spoke loudly, breaking our silence._

"_Uh. Yeah Bells?" Jasper sounded wary._

"_How was soccer practice? I hear you're the team captain!" I narrowed my eyes dangerously at her, feeling a surge of resentment for staying up late to be Alice's Barbie doll. If only I had just let her whine on and on about how I was such a cruel brother. I told her I had to go to soccer tryouts the next day and it cost me the spot for team captain. How dare Bella bring this up? I turned my head in Jasper's direction. He looked nervous, like he knew I was on the edge. I shot him a warning glance but he was looking at Bella, unsure of what to say._

_Unfortunately, it didn't matter since Bella wasn't done._

"_A BIG, STRONG, man like you must work out a lot if you were soooo talented to make captain on the team. What do you bench press?" I gritted my teeth. _

"_Um, nothing. I just do a lot of running and these exercises called-" Bella interrupted to ruin me some more._

"_I'm sure its more than Edward who never got the role of captain." That was really the last straw. _

"_I WAS TIRED THAT DAY, ALRIGHT!" I walked away, my eyes stinging with tears. I gritted my teeth more, trying to hold them in even though it felt like if I did it anymore my teeth would snap. _

Emmett was staring at me while I sulked, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. He had been confused when I crawled into the tent, looking angry. When he asked if I wanted to play some pranks on Jasper, I had declined. A very un- Edward like thing for me to do when boredom was most prominent but I wasn't up for that nonsense. I just wanted to sit in a corner and think about the earlier conversation between Bella and Jasper. It wasn't that I lost the captain spot. It was that _she_ was the one who had insulted me about it. And did it by talking to Jasper while I was sitting _right there_. That was below the belt. And it had hurt me more than it should. I knew Bella didn't like me. That we were enemies but still... I thought Bella was a kind person, not a mean one. But I guess I was wrong about her.

"Helloooo? Hello? Edward, are you there?" I shook my head trying to forget about Bella. Hopefully, for forever. From here on out, I don't care about what she says to me, what she looks like, what she smells like...UGH. Great. I was already failing before I actually begun! I looked at Emmett who looked throughly concerned. Emmett was _concerned_. I must look worse than I actually feel. Last time Emmett showed that much concern was when his Nintendo Wii stopped working right in the middle of a Boxing game. To this day we still don't know whether he or Jasper is the champion.

"What's wrong with you? I heard your outburst. What day were you too tired for?"

"Nothing," I said. With that I picked up a magazine carelessly thrown to the side, burying my head in it. And simultaneously burying my hope of Bella and I ending up together.

**Later...**

I heard Carlisle yell at everyone to come out to the campfire. Slowly, I lowered the magazine, readying myself to see Bella again and putting my poker face on. I refused to let myself show how hurt I was. With that in mind, I looked around, seeing that Emmett was gone and crawled out of the tent. Everyone was making their way to the logs by the campfire. Bella was sitting there already, looking annoyed and guilty. Normally I would have thought it was because of the comments she made about me, but now that I was on a Bella diet I didn't believe things like that anymore.

At least I _tried_ not to.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice grab Jasper's arm and scurry towards me. She then proceeded to grab my arm and sit across from Bella which surprised me. She was usually trying to force us together. Conversation thrived and I tried to make small chat with Charlie but that quickly died. Alice turned to me.

"She didn't mean it." I looked at her, surprised.

"What?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Bella was just.... I don't know. She's... Just ignore what she said to you earlier while I try to figure out what's going on in her mind, okay?" She finished, exasperatedly.

"I don't even care Alice." I guess I was wrong. Alice never butted out until she got what she wanted. But not this time.

"Yeah, right. Look," her voice lowered, "I'm really sorry about the project. I shouldn't have kept you up that night-"

"It's fine Alice. Really. I'm over it." She beamed at me.

"You're really alright, Edward." She laughed but abruptly turned serious. "Remember, Bella didn't mean it. Don't give up on her."

Why couldn't she realize that Bella, romance and Edward just don't belong in the same sentence? "Alice-"

"Remember," she said turning her back to me and returning to her conversation with Jasper, who talked to Emmett during our conversation. I sighed, wishing Alice would mind her own business just this once.

_**That night in Emmett, Jasper, and Edward's tent...**_

Emmett was asleep and I was on the verge of it when Jasper shook my shoulder gently.

"What's happenin'?" I mumbled sleepily.

"Seriously Edward. I can tell you don't agree with Alice but really, Bella truly feels guilty." Alice must be rubbing of on him.

"Good_night _Jasper." I closed my eyes. Maybe Charlie wouldn't mind it if I slept in his tent. That way, no one can badger me about these things anymore.**  
**

But then again, this is _Alice_ we're talkin' 'bout.

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**AN: Had a snow day so I got this out before I thought I would have been able to. The preview that was sent if you reviewed the last chapter will be for the next chapter instead. Remember to review. 10 reviews= next chapter. **


	5. Broken Bones

**Disclaimer: **Guess what!? I don't own Twilight! Bet that comes as a surprise.

**AN: I HAVE FAILED YOU ONCE MORE!! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO UP AFTER TEN REVIEWS BUT I WASN'T FINISHED TYPING IT. Darn those mid- terms. But you probably don't care for my pathetic excuses. ON WITH CHAPTER THE FIFTH!!!**

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**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 5: Broken Bones**

_**BPOV**_

I woke to a bouncing pixie. I think I actually miss my alarm clock now.

"Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella!"

"What? What? What? What?" I mumbled into my pillow but she heard me anyway.

"Bella! We have to get ready!"

"Why?" I looked at my watch. "It's six a.m. you overactive pixie! I need to sleep." She nudged me in the side softly with some designer hiking boots. I didn't know hiking boots were made by des-...WAIT! WHY IS SHE WEARING _HIKING _BOOTS!? I looked up at Alice in horror. She smirked. How can she smirk at a time like this? We're going _hiking_. More importantly, _I'm_ going hiking. And Bella plus hiking equals Bella with broken bones.

"We're going hiking and that means Edward's coming and that means he's gonna have to save you from your death when you trip over a tree root or whatever. You need to look great while doing so." Alice walked away to grab an outfit laying on her sleeping bag. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can get up and put these clothes on or I can go get Jazz and Em to forcefully undress you while I put the clothes on. Your choice."

Horror engulfed me. "Alright! Alright! Sheesh." I stretched and got up before I was subjected to more humiliation than I already was going to get from the hiking. Alice smirked handed me the clothes and seated herself on the floor. I picked up my lucky ball. It was multi- colored, with mixes of greens and blues. It was small and fit inside my jeans pocket easily. Maybe that would keep me from accidentally killing myself today. _Yeah right_, I thought skeptically.

I dressed while she talked about something. Probably clothes. I wasn't paying attention since I was actually thinking about Edward and what I said to him last night. Was Jasper right? Would Edward really take me that seriously? Alice finally broke through my train of thought.

"So, Bella what was up with that conversation with Edward last night?" I froze. She continued.

"It looked like he was real upset. Why did you say that to him?" Well, she was certainly being direct.

"Why the random change of conversation, Alice?" I was trying to distract her, poorly I might add.

"What are you talking about Bella?" She sounded exasperated. "I've been talking about it the whole time and you were just staring off into space thinking about Mike Newton." Her voice turned teasing at the last bit. I glared at her.

"Fine. You wanna talk about Eddie? We'll talk about Eddie. He told everyone at school that I was going -"

"Shutup Bella! We've been over this. I _know_ that you like to hold grudges against my brother just to downplay your love for him. It's not working. I've known you for too long and I can see right through you when you lie. Actually, everyone can. Can't you just admit it? Pleeeease?" Alice whined. I looked at her, irked.

"I have absolutely no feelings for your brother besides the one of absolute hate." Surprisingly, the little pixie in front of me grinned. Pretty sure it's not opposite day.

"Then why do you moan his name at night while your sleeping?" I felt the heat creep up on my face. Now Emmett _and_ Alice knew about my stupid sleep talking. Which reminds me- I need to get that tape before he plays it for Edward. The horror. Alice put the back her hand to her forehead and moaned, "OH EDWARD! Edwaaaaard!" Imagine the reddest thing you know. That is exactly what my face was colored like, only ten times worse.

"ALICE GET OUT BEFORE I DO SOMETHING TO YOU I WILL REGRET!" I tried to maintain some sort of dignity while really just looking like a fool.

Alice giggled and crawled out muttering something about PMS- ing.

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_**EPOV**_

I was just changing out of my boxers when Alice crawled into my tent in typical Alice fashion: without warning. I squealed like a little girl and covered myself up with a carelessly thrown aside shirt.

"ALICE! GOD GAVE YOU A VOICE FOR A REASON!"

"Whatever Edward." Ugh. She didn't even have enough respect for me to close her eyes or turn around and apologize. Welcome to the Cullen family. "I talked to Bella. And put some pants on." I complied, embarrassed. The words she said finally sink in. She had talked to Bella. What did Bella say? I shook my head. _BELLA- FREE DIET, _I chanted to myself.

"I don't care Alice." She shook her head and sighed, exasperated.

"You two are more alike than you know. So in denial. It's getting old."

"What are we talking about?" Emmett slid into the tent. I shot Alice a warning look. The last thing I needed was for Emmett, of all people, to hear this conversation. Alice shot me another look that clearly said, _Try and stop me._

"Emmett!" This voice belonged to Bella Swan who poked her head into the tent. She sent Emmett a look of annoyance and he grinned. What did he do know? Bella looked amazing in the hyacinth blue shirt she was wearing. It made her skin look creamy. Suddenly Bella's eyes swiveled to meet mine as if she knew I was looking at her. They immediately dropped to my bare chest. She stared.

"Ohhhh, Bellaaaaaaaa?" Alice sing- songed, grinningly wickedly at Bella who blushed deeply. How I wished I could know what she was thinking. Bella ignored Alice and retreated from the small space.

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_**BPOV**_

Never again.

Never again.

NEVER EVER AGAIN!!!

Never again will I go into that tent and risk seeing Edward. Shirtless. I remembered the feeling of longing. How my mouth watered at the sight of him. How I longed to run my hands across his chest. Uh uh. There's no way. No way I like Edward Cullen. Physically impossible. And hypothetically, if I did like him, hypothetically of course, then why would he like me? I totally insulted him. I sighed. This was definitely going to be a long day.

**A couple minutes later (Bella needs her Frosted Flakes in the morning!)...**

I snuck up on Emmett from behind and kicked him in the shin.

"OW! NOT AGAIN!" Emmett shrieked. And I mean shrieked. He deserved it though. His pigheaded self was passing by my tent last night and heard me moaning my arch- rival's name. Instead of ignoring it and walking past, minding his own business, he decided to _record _it. He woke me up, told me about it, and hauled arse out of my tent _before_ I could kill him. Now was the time.

Since Alice confessed she had heard me too, I wondered if she had heard him come in and rub the blackmail in my face. I think Alice would have had the decency to stop him before he recorded my embarrassing moment. Which meant I was probably moaning more than once throughout the night. Great.

"Give it to me." My eyes tightened, trying to intimidate Emmett. Unfortunately nothing could be more intimidating than Emmett. Except maybe Edward.

"Why?" he asked innocently, still breathless from the bruise I gave him.

"How could you blackmail me?"

"Calm down Bella." He rolled his eyes. "It's for Rose. She told me to get some dirt on you. That's why I was snooping around your tent last night. I was hoping you wouldn't do something embarrassing so Rosalie couldn't say I hadn't tried."

Oh crap. I had forgotten about the whole mess I made in Rosalie's hair. Internally groaning I turned my attention back to Emmett. "Why, oh, why didn't you just refuse to get blackmail on me?" Emmett's dark blue eyes widened.

"Bella," he whispered, "remember what happened when I refused to do something like that for Rose a while back?" Oh yeah. Emmett's rear end hasn't been the same since. "That happens when people hear about Rosalie's possessiveness towards her hair. They think they should try to see what happens when they mess it up. And you _knew _how she would've reacted. Shoulda seen this coming Bella." I nodded. He was right.

"What should I do?" I pleaded.

"Nothing." He shrugged. I was going to open my mouth to yell at him for his dumb answer but he had to interrupt. "She won't give it to Eddie boy. Even though she didn't like what you did to her hair, she's still your best friend." I looked up at Emmett in shock. Since when did he become an expert in Girl Code? I locked eyes with a streak of blond a few feet behind him. Rosalie smirked at me, then glared at Emmett's back. Like some sort of sensory device, his eyes widened and he looked at me.

_She's behind me, isn't she?_, he mouthed. I nodded. He walked away. I didn't blame him for being afraid. Rose's fury towards those who threatened her beautiful golden locks was something that came out sparingly. When it did come out though, it rivaled the fury of the gods themselves.

"Alright! We're going to split up for the hike. Rosalie and Alice planned it before we left." Carlisle! How could you let them do that!?

I ended up being paired with Alice, _Edward_, Jasper and Charlie. Everyone else went north. My group went south. Just like this trip.

"So Bella, how's it going with MIKE NEWTON, YOUR BOYFRIEND?" Alice smirked. I almost growled.

"You're dating Mike Newton?" Charlie looked surprised.

"Well..."

"YES SHE IS!" Just ask him! He will confirm it. Mike asked her out the day school let out for spring break. RIGHT, Edward?" I looked at him, silently begging him to deny it.

He didn't answer.

Instead, his fists were clenched and his eyes were narrowed dangerously. What was his problem? I looked at Jasper and mouthed the words, _Talk to Charlie. _If he distracted Charlie then he couldn't inquire over Mike, the human newt. Thankfully, Jasper complied, his face humorous. This was definitely _not_ funny and I would be having a talk with him later over the issue of non- funny things.

Sadly, that talk wouldn't happen for a long, long time. Thanks to Alice I wasn't paying attention to my footing and that is a foolish thing to do when you are in ROCKY TERRAIN WITH ROOTS JUTTING UP OUT OF THE FLOOR. And if you are a klutz. Especially if you are a klutz. I tripped over a said root. Or at least I think it was a root... The floor was getting close. Fast.

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**OOOOOOO SNAP! CLIFFIE TIME. **

**Questions. Guess. Tell me your guesses. In the reviews!**

**WILL BELLA'S FACE GET SMUSHED IN, CAUSING EDWARD TO NOT LIKE HER ANYMORE SO HE GIVES UP ON HER AND DATES YOU INSTEAD!? (highly unlikely BUT THE DREAM LIVES ON)**

**WILL BELLA FALL ROLLING DOWN A STEEP CLIFF, THUS CLIFF DIVING!?**

**WILL CHARLIE MAGICALLY BECOME A WIZARD AND SAVE BELLA FROM SUDDEN DEATH (you never know...)? THUS REVEALING TO US HE IS DUMBLEDORE IN DISGUISE!?**

**Yeah just give me some guesses for what you think could happen in the next few chapters.**

**Hope you liked. Please review. Only takes thirty seconds to type- "This chapter sucked." OR "This chapter rocked." And if you have extra time you can even tell my why you thought it sucked/rocked. AND I MUST DEMAND THAT YOU SEND ME ACTUAL REVIEWS. Not nonsense reviews where you just say something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with my stories (you know who you are). Reviewers get sneak peeks. BUT they have to be ACTUAL reviews. **

**You are bored now with my authors' note. Or maybe that was a few words back. STAY STRONG TWILIGHTERS!!!**

**~MOA22**


	6. My UnLucky Ball

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is awesome. Which proves that I don't own it. I also have never been camping and have no idea what I'm doing. Not only that but I've never been to Disney Land/ World so I don't know which rides are where or the best rides. The only one that came to mind was the teacups. So sorry if I offended you with my pathetic knowledge.

**AN: *TEAR* You REVIEWED (well some of you) and I didn't even ask! Give yourselves a pat on the back. And uh, I think (as in I could be wrong) I sent out different teasers to people by accident. Oops.

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**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 6: My Un-Lucky Ball**

I hit the ground. Hard. However, I managed to save my face from certain doom by jerking it up in time. I breathed a sigh of relief. This was luck for me. No one else in my group agreed though.

"Bella! Bella! Bella are you alright?" I couldn't distinguish one voice from another since they were all in such a frenzy to get me off the ground. Only one voice stood out to me. The voice of Adonis...I mean Edward.

"Bella! Bella, can you hear me? Are you hurt?" He picked me up by the waist. My skin tingled. I looked up and saw emeralds stare back at me. _Oh no_, I thought. Edward Cullen is looking at me with his EYES! I would never tell Alice, well I wouldn't tell anyone, but his eyes were my weakness. Anytime I had to speak directly to him I had to make sure to look away occasionally.

I looked down at myself and blushed. My shirt and pants front were entirely covered in dirt. From blue to brown. Charlie interrupted my train of thought by grabbing me, jerking me from Edward's arms. I felt a sense of loss. Bad sign. No way. No how. Bella Swan plus Edward Cullen equals NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. Charlie inspected me, trying to see if there was any injury.

"Maybe we should go back to the camp and get you cleaned up." He sighed. I felt guilty for cutting the hike he was looking forward to short. Once again, my clumsiness equals unhappiness. Like the time I broke my wrist while my mother, Renee, and I were having our first trip to Disney World. She's never gotten the chance to ride the spinning teacups to this day.

"No. I'm fine. Lets go." I dug my hand into my pocket only to discover that my lucky ball was missing. Like a bad horror movie, that music started to play in my head. I needed my lucky ball! One time I left the house and forgot it. Somehow I fell way more than I usually did. If that makes sense.

"UH OH! WAIT! I NEED TO FIND MY LUCKY BALL!" Edward, Alice and Jasper looked confused so I explained further. "I have this ball. It keeps me from falling more than usual." Alice looked incredulous.

"You mean... it can get worse?"

"Yeah." I dropped to the ground and began to look closely for the lucky ball. I was joined by Edward. I looked at him in surprise.

"I have an idea!" I groaned. It's not like I was surprised. When does Alice _not_ have an idea? It's just that ideas that involved me usually were ones I didn't like. "Me, Jazz and Charlie will go ahead and you guys can look for the ball! Okaygreatthanksbye!" She shoved her victims forward. Charlie looked at me worriedly. I'm sure I looked horrified. Alone with Edward. Oh boy.

So, I completely ignored him. No noise except the quiet shuffling of crawling on the ground and the wildlife around us. The chirping of birds and the rush of a nearby stream. It would have been peaceful if Edward wasn't there.

"Is this it?" I glanced at him only to have my plain brown eyes locked in place by his dazzling green ones. We stared at each other for a while and the only noises I could hear were the beat of my heart, faster than a hummingbird's wings, and the electricity humming between us. Suddenly a twig snapped to my left. I looked over, startled. It was only a squirrel. I sighed, relieved. When I looked back over to Edward, reluctantly I might add, his expression was closed. He handed me the ball and stood up. He actually had found my lucky ball. Now we could go find Alice, Jasper and Charlie and I could be free from the discomfort. I heard the gospel singing in my ear. Hallelujah. _Is it just me or did the heavens just open up?_ I thought.

I stood. Edward started to walk forward. I followed, nervous and slightly annoyed with myself. My intuition was telling me that something bad was going to happen which explained the nervousness. But I was angry at myself for falling for Edward's ridiculous eye trick AGAIN. I'd heard stories about it in school before I actually met him. How he could lock you with one glance, like one of those little ice blocks in Super Mario Bros... Okay, I was definitely spending too much time with Emmett. Of course, I never believed those stories; scoffing at the mere whim that some guy could ever do that. I was clearly missing information like the fact that Edward was not just _some _guy...

Wait. Do I _like_ _Edward Cullen_ in a _romantic way_? No. No. No. N-

"Hello?" Edward's silken- I mean... his voice jerked me back into reality.

"Huh?" I replied stupidly.

"I said, I think we lost them."

"Lost who?"

"The others," He said it slowly as if I were kindergartner. I think my heart stopped for a few seconds. Dread coursed through my veins. Does this mean he doesn't like me? Not that I liked him or anything. "Alice, Jasper and Charlie."

"WHAT!?" My voice ended in a squeak. This could NOT be happening. What did I do to deserve this? Okay there was that one time when I spilled the juice on the carpet but I was a little kid! It was an accident! BUT EVEN IF IT WASN'T I DON'T THINK SPILLING JUICE MEANS YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE NIGHT, IN A FOREST, WITH EDWARD CULLEN WHO MAY OR MAY NOT LIKE ME, NOT THAT I CARE!!!

"Calm down." He looked at me, wary from my horrified reaction. "All we have to do is walk back to the campsite and stay there until someone comes back to see if we're there."

"Are you _suuuure_?" I swear to God, if he got us more lost than we already are...

"Yes." he sighed, exasperated. "Bella, I've been camping before. Rosalie got lost. We got her back safe and sound. Everything's gonna be fine."

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Everything was certainly_ not_ fine.

Well, I was supposed to be near the campfire, WARM. Having DINNER as in ACTUAL FOOD with the Cullens and my father as in NOT _JUST_ Edward. Unfortunately, thanks to Edward and his stupidity I was stuck curled up against a nice hard tree trunk, sopping wet thanks to the rain, starving. Ah camping, such an adventure.

I stuffed my hands in my pocket, grumbling. There was a small lump, that I realized was actually my "lucky" ball. I threw it away as far as it would go.

"GOOD RIDDANCE!" Talking to inanimate objects was never a good sign but I just couldn't control myself. How else are you supposed to feel in this situation? Calm? Relaxed? This is not David Blaine. This is Bella Swan and Bella Swan doesn't _do_ calm, lost in the wilderness with no one but Edward Cullen for company. Any amount of fondness Edward had gotten from me died long long wasn't here to witness my act of insanity. He was off with his stupid self, looking for food. Maybe if I was lucky he wouldn't come back. But then again, it means that I would actually starve. Huh. I'd just search for my own food. Sure it would be annoying and I'd end up hurting myself but it'd be worth it. I imagined myself looking for food. The poison ivy risks, the bee stings, the snake bites... on second thought, never mind.

This is the _real_ definition of camping:

**camping **(kāmp-ing)

A torturous event you are subjected to by your father. Made especially worse by a specific person with no sense of direction. Made especially worse if it rains. WARNING: STAY AWAY FROM CAMPING AT ALL COSTS!!!

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**AN: I FORESEE TROUBLE IN BxE LAND!!! AND NOW THE FUN BEGINS! **

**Bella's intuition is never wrong, except for that one time in NEW MOON... *sobs* Betcha thought Edward would catch her didn't ya?** **C'MON! Almost everyone uses that line. Not that I ever get tired of hearing it but still...**

**I LOVE DETAILED REVIEWS!!! EXTRA THANKS TO THOSE WHO GAVE THEM TO ME!!!  
**

**P.S. If you reviewed for a chapter other than the fifth one then you didn't get a review cause how am I supposed to know if you've gotten to the fifth. If you did get a preview without reviewing 5 it's because I didn't notice. If you did not leave a signed review then you also didn't get a preview since I have no way to get it to you.**

**Now REVIEW AND YOU GET A NICE TEASER (Unless you don't want one. Which is odd)! **


	7. H is Not My Favorite Letter

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to the goddess of the universe- Stephenie Meyer. I am not worthy.

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**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 7: H is Not my Favorite Letter**

Edward returned as the sun was setting, with nuts and berries, in his hand. They weren't recognizable to me but what do I know? It's not like I've ever been camping before. The rain had stopped. He too was sopping wet. That was comforting. I took my share from him, eating in stony silence. Until he had to open his big mouth.

"You're mad at me aren't you ?" And just like that, the floodgate opened. I stood and glared at him.

"DUH! YOU GOT ME LOST IN THIS DAMNED FOREST! WITH CRAPPY FOOD! AND RAIN! AND NOW I'M COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY MISERABLE! OF COURSE I'M MAD AT YOU!" I stopped, my chest heaving. My throat drier than my clothes will ever be. Add to the list of reasons why I am severely annoyed at Edward- thanks to him I was extremely thirsty. His eyes were wide and furious. I stood my ground. No way was I backing down.

Unexpectedly Edward's eyes closed and he buried his head in his hands. My breathing ceased. Was he hurt by my words? I must have gone too far and-

"Well, hello there." I spun around, distracted from my despair for the moment. Before me stood a tall, statuesque woman. Her beauty could rival even that of Rosalie's. She had pale skin, violet eyes and long dark hair almost to her waist like mine, but still longer. "My name is Heidi. And you are?"

"B-Bella." She smiled and her eyes flickered behind me to Edward. I looked over at him. His face was composed now. She smiled more warmly at him. I gritted my teeth, seeing her jut her breasts out and smooth her dress. And who wears heels in a forest? She was obviously after Edward._ Not that I blamed her. _I suddenly recalled I was supposed to be angry at Edward but I sighed. It was just too hard to be angry with him. Plus, it's not like it helped us in any way.

"Well, what are you doing out here, alone?" Heidi was looking at Edward. I cleared my throat, trying to drop a hint.

"We got lost." Edward's voice was dead, a monotone filled with no emotion whatsoever. Worry for him was the dominant emotion for me. I sensed that my words had affected him some. Guilt washed over me like a blanket. Which reminded me... if I didn't stop shivering I wouldn't be able to stand anymore.

"Look," I interrupted, "we need a phone. Do you have-"

It was Heidi's turn to interrupt. "You don't look so good." She tsked. I balled my fists up even more, making my hand almost bleed. "Why don't _you_," I didn't miss the implication. "Come with me to my home. It's right this way." I frowned at her, distrustful and still more than a little angry at this insane woman but to add even more fuel to the deadly and incredibly large fire, Edward stood up and began to walk towards Heidi. With surprise and contempt, I followed. Heidi even scowled at me, not even trying to hide her obvious hate and annoyance towards me. _Is he seriously going to just follow some random woman into the woods?_ Judging by the fact that she smirked (after the quick scowl), turned around and walked along looking back every few seconds to check that he was still there, I'd say yes.

_**EPOV (replay of previous scene)**_

After traipsing through the green for a while, I soon gave up the search for food and went back to Bella. I found her curled up tight into a ball against a tree. She didn't look at me but I could tell by the way her back tensed that she knew I was right there. It was ironic how I couldn't find a campsite I'd been coming to for years but I could easily find Bella. Almost like magnets. I plopped myself on the ground and handed her the few eatable berries and nuts I could find. Trying not to scowl at her obvious joy that I was soaking from the heavy rain, I ate my food in silence. Eventually it was too much to bear and I had to say something before I went mad.

"You're mad at me aren't you?" I should have expected her to yell at me for that stupid question. Of course she was mad. I had gotten her lost and now she was most definitely cold. How could some berries and nuts satiate her hunger?

"DUH! YOU GOT ME LOST IN THIS DAMNED FOREST! WITH CRAPPY FOOD! AND RAIN! AND NOW I'M COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY MISERABLE! OF COURSE I'M MAD AT YOU!" Her voice was hoarse. Looking away from her enraged expression, I was overcome with emotion. _I_ had made her _miserable_. Forgetting that I was supposed to be on a Bella free diet, I covered my face with my hands trying to not let her see my pained expression. Her breathing stopped noticeably. Before I could look at her to see what was wrong I heard a voice coming from far back. I looked up. It was just some woman with peculiar violet eyes and long dark hair.

"My name is Heidi. And you are?" She was speaking to Bella. I carefully rearranged my expression before the girl could see.

"B-Bella." Then the girl looked at me and smiled.

"Well, what are you doing out here, alone?" she questioned.

"We got lost." My voice curiously sounded dead.

"Look," Bella interjected, "we need a phone. Do you have-" The girl just continued speaking.

"You don't look so good." Even with her back to me, I could feel Bella's hate for the girl. I couldn't understand why. She seemed fine to me.

"Why don't you, come with me to my home. It's right this way." I stood up, catching Bella's shocked expression; it would have been funny if our situation wasn't so grim but maybe the girl- Heidi- had food and warm blankets and a change of clothes wherever she lived. Bella's footsteps followed behind as I thought. Going on a Bella diet was obviously not working so I needed to do something else. Maybe going out with someone would help me get over her. Maybe Heidi could be that someone. My heart rejected that. It was so set on Bella but I had to go with my head here. I would ask Heidi out.

_**BPOV**_

Heidi had a sharp, intimidating sword for bushwhacking but somehow I ended up with twice as many cuts and scrapes but at least I didn't trip. Guess I didn't need my lucky ball after all. Wish I figured that out BEFORE I met Heidi. She was absolutely persistent keeping up a steady stream of conversation that of course, excluded me. Topics of discussion ranged from the designer clothes he was wearing to the best travel destinations. Okay, so I wouldn't have been able to keep up even if the conversation included me. Finally we arrived at Heidi's home. I mean, mansion. That house was even bigger than Edward's. One of the minuses of living in Forks is that you don't see mansions. And here was one right in the middle of the forest. **(AN: Picture of mansion on my profile)**

"You like?" She gave me a superior look which I pretended not to see then she looked at Edward.

"It looks lovely." My mouth gaped open. What was he doing? First he was acting all sullen and quiet on the walk here. Now he was all smiles and compliments. Boy, he was moody. At least I knew there was no way Edward would like Heidi. She wasn't his type _in any way whatsoever_. The double doors to the house opened and out stepped a woman dressed all in black with a veil covering her face. A man stepped out next to her bouncing with excitement. He had long black hair and incredibly translucent skin. He grinned when he noticed us staring.

"HELLO!!!" He ran down the stairs and grabbed my hand shaking it excitedly. "My name is Aro Volturi. How are you doing today?" He moved on to Edward.

"Daddy." Heidi whined. "Stop smothering Edward." She put her hand on his arm possessively. I resisted the urge to bite that hand off. And how did she know his name? I couldn't recall a moment when it was mentioned in conversation... Oh well, I guess I blanked out when it came up.

"I'm sorry my dear," he replied looking at Edward with the strangest glint in his eyes. I looked back up towards the doors of the house. The veiled woman was gone.

"DADDY! Edward is cold and hungry and I bet so very tired." Heidi cooed, stroking his arm now. Okay I couldn't take it anymore. Edward and I needed to get out of here before I ended up killing someone.

"Mr. Volturi-"

"Stop with all that Mr. Volturi nonsense. He's my father!" He laughed at his own bad joke. "Call me Aro."

"Right. Well Aro, I don't mean to be rude but see, Edward and I got lost and need to call-" The hand Heidi was using to hold her sword twitched. Whoa. _Just because I had thoughts about killing you doesn't mean I have to show it with my creepy, sword handling self._ And its not like Heidi would actually kill me right? She can have Edward. It's not like he likes me in that way anyway... or that I like him in that way either. So there.

"Edward, I should introduce you to my other daughter, Jane." WHAT IS IT WITH THIS FAMILY AND INTERRUPTING ME?!

"Well thanks sir, but really Bella and I need to call our parents. They must be worried." Worry colored his own voice. He stepped back from Heidi's reach. Good. Now we would be able to get away from Heidi. The outrageous flirting was putting me on edge. Soon, I would snap. And, most importantly, I needed to talk to Edward so I could apologize for my outburst.

Aro wasn't having that.

"Nonsense! You must meet the family and get something to eat and some new clothes before you leave. You two are a mess." Edward sighed.

"Look-" he tried to argue but it proved to be futile.

"No. All you have to do is stay for a night. That's all." Heidi looked pleadingly at Edward. Pssh. Talk about desperate. Aro shot Heidi a look that clearly said- _Let me do the talking._

"Alright." Edward looked defeated. The Volturis looked ecstatic. UGH. More endurable hours of watching Heidi act like a tramp. Woohoo.

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**AN: Please review. Seriously. I should be doing my homework right now. AND my head hurts. In the words of Bella- "woohoo." **

**I think there won't be any updates this week. I have quizzes/tests the rest of the week. School- killing off students one by one. OUR SCHOOL MASCOT IS THE DEVIL. NOW I KNOW WHY. Rant over. **


	8. Last Words

**Disclaimer:** Twilight me no own. OH! And I don't really think Jane is eleven or ten.

**AN: This one is long... DRAAAAMA!

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**

**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 8: Last Words**

_**BPOV**_

I was still trapped in this hell hole with Edward who looked uncomfortable as Heidi bombarded him with words about some trite nonsense that even I didn't have the patience to listen to. Aro was taking us on the "grand tour." The house was magnificent...and looked like it was made for kings. Literally. How many people do you know of have golden coffee tables? You'd think that those would look tacky but no. I was sort of hoping for a glimpse of the veiled woman since it wasn't like I could ask Aro about her.

"And this is my other daughter Jane," Aro gushed.

"Jane this is Edward." A sort of mad glint came into Aro's eye. "And this, my dear, is Bella. I'm sure you two will get along very well." He sounded like we were going to have an extended stay. Yeah right. As soon as night fell I would be sneaking around to find a phone. So far I haven't seen any which is odd. What kind of person that has a gold coffee table would not have a phone?

Jane looked to be about ten or eleven. She smiled a sugary sweet smile. Having know Alice for such a long time, I knew that sugary sweet meant something bad was coming. For me at least. As cute and angelic as Jane looked, I had a gut feeling that she could not be trusted.

But it was just so hard not to be drawn in.

"You're such a beautiful person Miss Bella. It's an honor to be in your gracious presence." A faint pink touched the little girl's cheeks. Aro sighed, enamored, while everyone awwed, including Edward.

"Ahh Jane, you are precious to me. Bella and Edward will be staying with us for a while. Edward can sleep in Heidi's room." I didn't even hear the rest as I glared at Aro. It was as if there was some sort of monster hibernating inside of me that only came out when there were thoughts of Edward alone with Heidi. Before I could stop myself I blurted-

"_Hell_, no." Aro looked at me, taken aback.

"You don't want to sleep in Jane's room?"

"NO!" I could barely control myself now. I was trembling violently. "I don't think it's a good idea for Edward to sleep in Heidi's room."

"Well, why not?" He sounded confused now. What is so hard to understand???

"BECAUSE-!" Jane interrupted my embarrassing rant.

"I DON'T WANT _HER_ IN MY ROOM!" I looked at Jane in surprise. I thought she liked me... "IT'S NOT FAIR!" Jane stomped away.

"Uh...." Edward just sounded dazed. Then I remembered what I had said before. Edward must of thought I was a fool. Tears stung my eyes and I ran off, in the opposite direction of Jane. Edward called after me but I only heard silence from Aro and Heidi. Next I heard quick footsteps and then a grunt. But I never looked back.

* * *

_**EPOV**_

Bella had surprised me by demanding that I not sleep in the same room as Heidi. I mean, its not like I wanted that to happen either but why would she react that strongly...

Snapping me out of my thoughts, I heard a low cry and watched as Bella ran away. I called out to her but something grabbed my legs and a figure punched me in the stomach, knocking the breath out of me. Then all I saw was darkness.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Running gets a girl tired. So does crying. So does thinking. Just... thinking. I was tired by the time I jogged a couple of hallways, turned into a few corners and went up a couple of flights. Is it possible for a house to be even bigger on the inside?

I realized now what I had denied for so long. I- Bella Swan- liked Edward Cullen. Unbelievable. It was impossible to resist him. And because of it I acted like an idiot. The sad thing was I knew he didn't like me. How could he? I totally hurt his feelings and acted like a jerk. Randomly opening a door, I stepped inside hoping it was a bedroom so I could get some shut eye. My phone suddenly rang to the tune of 'One of the Boys', this awesome song by Katy Perry. This was the official ring tone for Alicia, another one of my friends and Angela's sister. And I was jolted awake by it. _STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID._ I HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN I HAD A PHONE! Jeez, I thought Edward was dumb for getting us lost. It doesn't get much dumber than this. I opened the phone to see I had a text message.

**ONE NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM ANGELA. **_(Bella gets italics. Angela gets bold.)_

**You better pick up Bella Swan. I used my sister's phone so you would think it was Alicia when it's actually Angela. I SWEAR I WON'T TALK ABOUT EDWARD!**

_ANGE! I-_

But before I could reply, the phone was ripped from my hands and I looked up in surprise. The man standing in front of me with a deadly expression, had almost translucent skin much like Aro with a shock of white hair. He threw my phone to the ground, stepping on it. My phone was gone. And so was my freedom. Who did this guy think he was?

"Idiot. What are you doing in here? Aro's supposed to have gotten rid of you by now."

"Huh?" What did he mean by 'get rid of'? The door behind me made a creaking sound as it opened. There stood Jane looking at me in disgust.

"Uncle Caius. Go back to sleep. I need to talk to _her,_" The last part was said with a sneer.

"You can't order me around Jane. No one orders Caius Filius Dracus Volutri around! Why I remember when children spoke to their elders with respect..." The man called Caius went off on his rant. Jane walked across the threshold with a metal syringe. I watched as she injected something into Caius's arm. I gasped. Was she allowed to do this? Caius slumped to the floor, his mouth hanging open, snoring and drooling. Jane faced me slipping the syringe into her thick tall boots.

"What did you just do?"

"I made him shut up. That's all you need to know." I backed up, creeped out. Jane watched me with her eyes. My back banged against the door and I tried to turn the doorknob but it wouldn't open. It was locked. Crap. To make matters worse, Jane began making her way toward me.

"Jane, Jane, Jane. Such a pretty name. You're not gonna hurt me are you?" Jane stopped giving me a confused look.

"No. I'm going to offer you a deal. If I help you and your little boyfriend escape, you must promise to never come here again. I can't have Aro liking you more than me." I gaped at her.

"You'll help us get out!!?" SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK! YES! She rolled her eyes.

"Duh. Pretty sure you don't want to die."

"Die?"

"Aro wants to kill Edward or something." She waved her hand, gesturing. Her face looked bored while I'm sure mine looked petrified and shocked.

"KILL!?" I squeaked out. Why was the room spinning?

"Uh yeah. Kill. Aro hates Carlisle. Lemme see... What happened again?"

"WHO CARES!? WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!"

"SHUT UP! In due time. I was supposed to come and find you so we could make sure you don't... what was it again? I think I need something to jog my memory." STOP BEING SUCH A TEASE! I sighed, exasperated and dug out a five dollar bill. Jane held it up to the light to see if it was real.

"Okay. I think I'll tell you the story now. So in medical school, Aro and Carlisle were like, BFFs or something. There was, like, this program where you were an apprentice to this big shot doctor who was really famous. I'd tell you what his name is but I don't really remember..."

"OKAY, OKAY, Here!" I handed her my twenty. Broke.

"William Ferdinand. So Carlisle got the spot but Aro was so pissed about it. He's still bitter. So when Edward showed up sporting that Cullen crest thingy..." The Cullen Crest was the official crest for the Cullens (wow, I just reiterated myself). Edward wore his on a cuff around his wrist. "He knew that Edward was related to Carlisle so for revenge Aro is going to... can't remember..."

"C'mon I'm broke!"

"What was it again?"I threw a bus token at her, she appraised it.

"Good enough. He's going to try to hurt Carlisle through Edward through torture. Or maybe it's death. Not sure." I dug around in my pockets some more to find a quarter. I handed it to her.

"No really. I don't know which one it is but thanks for the quarter!" Great. Now I'm broke for real.

"Do you know the specifics? Can we pleeeeease go?" I asked anxiously.

"Yeah, you don't wanna know." I didn't doubt that. "Well, I believe it _is_ time to go save him but-"

"Finally!"

"But remember," she gave me a stern look. "I am Batman. You are Robin. Not the other way around. Don't do anything unless I say you can. Got it?" I nodded mutely with my fingers crossed behind my back. Just in case.

* * *

_**EPOV**_

I awoke to a piercing scream, a pain going through my body, like thousands of trucks were slamming into me. At the same time. Then I realized the scream was mine. I looked around. The room was dark, and smelly. The light flickered on and my eyes met the deranged ones of Aro Volturi. I tried to sit up but with a shock realized that my arms and legs were strapped to a metal table.

"Hello Edward," Aro whispered menacingly.

"Aro! What's going on!?" I struggled against the metal wrists in vain. Aro grabbed my wrist cuff from a table, with my family's Cullen Crest on it. Suddenly a fireplace lit up and he threw it into the fire, laughing maniacally. I shiver ran through my spine at the noise.

"'What's going on, Aro?'" he mimicked. "'What's going on?'" Heidi emerged from a door.

"You promised that he would be mine, Daddy. How long will it take? The Swan girl could eventually wander down the wrong hallway and see what we're doing to Edward." My name was said with a purr. I blanched, turning even more white than I already was. The Swan girl?

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO BELLA!?" I struggled even more. But I was probably just giving my self an even bigger bruise. White hot rage surged through me at the mere thought that Aro had gotten his slimy hands on Bella. As soon as I was free I would- I would-. _What?_ I thought shrewdly. _You're suddenly going to get vampire strength and break through the wrist cuffs? _I felt helpless. More helpless than I had ever felt before. Helpless for me. Helpless for Bella.

**(AN: Could have ended it there. But I want to live to see tomorrow.)**

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_**BPOV**_

I hid under a table. Jane had snuck me in the room before any of the Volturi had come back and then left me here to watch Edward scream in severe pain. Tears streamed down my face and my hand was holding my mouth holding in sobs. It was as if I could feel the pain radiating from him and it affected me too.

When Heidi had walked into the room I struggled especially to not choke her to death. How could she stand there knowing Edward was getting hurt only to care if he would end up with her or not? Edward struggled to be free from his prison even more when he heard I was possibly hurt. The amount of love I felt for him staggered me at that moment. Not only did I _like_ him. I _loved_ him.

I picked a bad time to realize this.

Jane walked in, I could see from peeking under the tablecloth. She had a poker face on. I silently pleaded for her to help me before I burst out sobbing, blowing my cover.

"I found the Swan girl." Expletives burst from Edward's mouth.

"Where? OOOOO Can I talk to her Daddy?" Heidi. That little...

"No," Aro snapped. "You stay. Jane where is she?"

"With Caius."

"That's torture enough for her. Make sure she doesn't-"

"What does this button do, Daddy?" Heidi gestured to a bright red button on a remote.

Aro grinned. "Why don't you try it out?" Heidi pressed the button and squealed as Edward yelled, his chest heaving.

"Nothing like keeping a man on his toes." Heidi sounded extremely satisfied. Aro chuckled. Jane remained stony. A low sob, escaped my lips. Aro's head whipped my way.

"What was that!?"

"What was what?" Jane said. "Father, I think it best to explain to Mr. Edward why we are doing this to him."

"Alright," he said doubtfully. "Well Edward-" Heidi pressed the button again, making Edward yell and in turn cutting Aro off. He didn't like that much.

"Gimme that!" He snatched the remote from Heidi's hand and threw it towards the table. It slid under. There were other buttons on it. Possibly one that could free Edward? Jane looked toward me shaking her head. Pssh. Screw her plans. How could she stand there and not care?

"DADDY! You made me break a nail!" Heidi whined.

"SHUTUP!" Aro cleared his throat. "Well Edward, I could tell by that little crest, you foolishly wore here, that you were a Cullen. I don't like Cullens. Now ask me why." Edward was silent, unmoving. He must have realized moving wasn't going to help him. "I SAID ASK!" Aro slapped Edward in the face. I flinched.

"Why?" he mumbled.

"Because of Carlisle. Carlisle and I were best friends in medical school you know. Compared cells, did dissections together and all that." Aro inhaled sharply. "But he decided it was time to get a one up on me. Dr. Ferdinand, one of the most prestigious doctors in the universe offered up a position for one student. His apprentice. To get in all you had to do was perform, the Whipple surgery on an animal that had pancreatic cancer. I failed. Carlisle was the only student to ever succeed. But I think a proper punishment would be to try to perform the Whipple on you. Don't you think so?" Aro got a knife out of his sleeve. It hovered over Edward's torso.

"Any last words Edward _Cullen_?"

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**AN: No readers, I am not the devil in disguise. You'll figure it out soon enough... when I update. Whenever that is... MWAHAHAHA! Reviews make me update faster...**


	9. Horror of Horrors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. Or Edward. Sigh.

**AN:You all HAVE NO FAITH! YOU THINK I WOULD _KILL _EDWARD McDAZZLE CULLEN!? **

QUESTION: Did Bella send the text that she was in the middle of typing last chapter? NO! It was ripped from her hands before she could finish typing and sending it.

**

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****Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 9: Horror of Horrors**

**MEANWHILE...**

_**JPOV (Jasper)**_

Esme, Alice and Rosalie practically raced towards the camp rangers when they showed up in a pick up truck hours after we had called them. It was about eight o' clock now and the girls were just about ready to rip the rangers' heads off. The guys were worried too but we remained calm. Carlisle was the boy scout leader when Edward, Emmett and I were kids. This sort of thing used to happen all the time. Kids got lost. We'd find them. It was all good.

Except for Charlie.

The man was losing his cool. A nervous wreck. He was currently sitting on a log situated around the campfire rocking from side to side and debating whether or not he should call Renee, Bella's mother. Renee would get nervous and then he would get even worse than he already was, in my opinion. I really, really felt sorry for him.

But the amount of pity for him was nothing to the pity I felt for those rangers. Two tall muscular guys with russet skin stepped out in a synchronized fashion. They were only teenagers with lanterns.

"Hey. I'm Seth. It's nice to me-"

"WHERE WERE YOU!?"

"THEY ARE OUT THERE PROBABLY STARVING IN THE COLD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"PEOPLE ARE LOST AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO THEM!?" Alice, Rosalie and Esme were exploding in perfect harmony. The Seth guy looked overwhelmed.

"Calm down!" They quieted down to glare at him. Carlisle stood to join him. Smart man.

"Listen Seth, we have been waiting here for hours. What took you so long?" Seth looked guilty.

"Well we were-"

"HEY! What up!?" A voice shouted. It was the other ranger. He had a do- rag on and a long hoodie. There was also a very long chain around his neck with a sparkling small wolf at the end.

"'What up!?'" Alice hissed dangerously. "'WHAT UP!?' MY BEST FRIEND AND MY BROTHER ARE LOST IN THE WOODS AND YOU ASK 'WHAT UP!?'" I winced. Alice rarely used that tone of voice and when she did she meant business. Dangerous business.

"Chill shawty." He looked bored with the conversation.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?"

"Look. Lemme introduce myself. My name is J- A- C to the O- B. I RAP HARD WITH A SWAGGA THAT YOU NEVER SEE!"

"Huh?" Rosalie looked confused.

"Did I stutter sweetie?" Rosalie's eyes narrowed. Carlisle once again intervened before someone could get hurt.

"Mister uh... Jacob, my son, Edward and-" Someone's cellphone started ringing. I could see that even Carlisle was losing patience by the flash of annoyance in his eyes. Jacob held up one finger.

"One second dawg." He opened up his phone. "YO! Uh huh... Uh huh... Cool. I'll pick it up later. Peace out." He looked at Carlisle expectantly. "Continue."

"What was that?" Esme blurted. Jacob turned to her.

"What was what?"

"Were you making a deal for drugs?" Jacob chuckled.

"Naw. I don't roll like that. It was an order for my new grillz."

"Grills? Like for your backyard?"

"PSSH. Naw. Like for my teeth. Picture this." His eyes took on a dreamy look. "Gold, platinum and silver mixed together, creating a new metal. Bigger and better than before. Golatinumtilver. Then picture diamonds encrusted in them. Ultimate grillz. No playa will be able to out play me." Stunned silence. Was this guy serious? Seth coughed, trying to return the conversation to a more sane place.

"What is your emergency, sir?" Carlisle opened his mouth to speak but was once again interrupted.

"SUPERMAN THAT HOOOOO!" Jacob yelled, exuberantly. He was texting someone on his phone. He looked up when he was done. "That was my home girl, H. She is flyer than Lil' Wayne himself. Yo, did you hear he is going to release a rock album? I was like- 'OH HELLS NO!' He is crazy. That new single was not dope at all. Anyways, H was just telling me about her new boyfriend or somethin'." His voice turned angry. "I'm about to hustle myself over to her crib to beat that boy up. Who he think he is stealin' my lady? A fool that's what!"

"Listen, we don't give a crap about H." Rosalie now directed her words to Seth. "My friend, Bella, and my stupid brother, Edward, are stuck in the woods. They got lost around ten a.m. Either you get them back to us or I will kill you." Seth shuddered.

"Look, Blondie-" Jacob intervened.

"What did you just say to me?"

"Blondie. I would love out help out a brother but I gotta go get beat up H's fiance- boyfriend. She's getting married to him now or whatever. That is not dope. You know how it goes- hoes before bros"

"It's bros before hoes, Jacob." Seth sighed.

"WE DON'T CARE!" Alice, Rose and Esme were foaming at the mouth. The engine of the car revved and we looked towards the ranger truck. Jacob was driving away. Everyone looked to Seth, surprised.

"Yes. I do this every week." Alice, Rose and Esme burst into tears. All the guys went to comfort their significant others. Minus Charlie, of course, who cracked and was now talking to Renee.

"Seth?" I asked, Alice's tears soaking my shirt. "Does this mean you have no way of looking for Bella and Edward?" Seth waved a cellphone in his hand.

"I do this every week, remember?"

**Back at the Volturi Mansion...**

_**BPOV**_

Before I could emerge from my hiding spot, Jane spoke.

"WAIT! ARO!" Aro turned to Jane while my eyes stayed fixedly on the knife in his hand. The knife that could end everything.

"I-I- uhh...." Jane looked utterly lost for words as she searched for a reason to stop him from killing Edward. When the knife would pierce Edward's chest. Blood would gush out of his wound and his scream would be piercing. My stomach flipped.

"What?!" Aro snapped.

"Heidi..." Heidi's head didn't move as her fingers glided at vampire speed over her cell phone. She was texting. My disgust increased.

"Heidi... what?" Aro's hand twitched. He was obviously impatient to get the deed done.

"Heidi wants to be with Edward..." Heidi suddenly looked very interested in the conversation. "So...how about Edward lives... and Heidi marries him!" Heidi squealed, jumping around. Jane looked pleased with her plan.

"Oh. Oh. Daddy! Daddy! PLEASE!" I was absolutely horrified. It was hard enough seeing Heidi with Edward and that was when she had no claim on him.

"Father." JANE. YOU ARE NOT HELPING. "I am confident that-"

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Aro roared. Finally. Someone with common sense! "I WILL NOT HAVE A _CULLEN_ JOIN MY FAMILY!"

"DADDYKINS!" Heidi stomped her foot and the heel of her shoe snapped off.

_**EPOV**_

I lost track of the conversation at the "marry Heidi" bit. There was no _way_ in hell I was going to end up with her for a wife. No. No. No. No. NO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE!? I've gone from a kid pining after someone I loved even though she hated- and probably still does after bringing her here- me. Speaking of Bella... what happened to Bella? Is she all right? Did Aro hurt her? These questions swirled around my head until a loud voice interrupted my thoughts.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Aro's face was redder than a tomato and dare I say it? Redder than Bella's blush. What I wouldn't give to see her blush now. "I WILL NOT HAVE A _CULLEN_ JOIN MY FAMILY!" My pride took over and I feebly attempted to somehow break my wrists free of the iron cuffs. I quickly gave up.

"DADDYKINS!" I was feeling too grim to feel amused as Heidi stomped her foot and her heel snapped off. Heidi began to sob. Although it sounded really fake to me. I could feel a stare piercing into my side. My gaze drifted to Jane. She mouthed the words, _Bella is safe. _I didn't believe a word she said. There was no one to trust here that had Volturi as a last name.

"Heidi! HEIDI STOP! You know daddykins can't stand it when you cry!" Aro pleaded. Her sobs stopped.

"Does that mean you'll let me marry Edward?" Her voice was muffled by her hand on her face.

Aro sighed and glared at me. "Fine. But he has to change his last name to Volturi." OH NO. Heidi squealed and another sound came from the table. My eyes strayed from Heidi's excited form to a pair of horror struck chocolate brown ones. Bella's eyes. Bella was here under the table. How did she get there? Aro obviously didn't know because the first time a noise had come from there he'd wondered what the noise was. And then Jane had covered for her...

"Did you hear that Eddie baby! We're going to be together forever!" I growled. Heidi was getting on my last nerves with her extremely perky behavior.

I then noticed Aro staring intently at the table. "I heard that noise again."

"Aro!" I called hoping to distract him.

He walked swiftly to the table.

"FATHER! Caius let Bella go and she's running around the house!" Jane yelled. Aro's head whipped in her direction just as he put a hand on the tablecloth.

"Then go find her," he snapped. The tablecloth was pulled. There was a collective gasp from Jane and I.

We could not believe our eyes.

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**AN: I'm sorry for the long wait. This website was being stupid and wouldn't let me sign in. ZOMG! 'LET ME SIGN'! LIKE THE SONG!!! Now review while I fan girl over here!**


	10. Where is She

**Disclaimer: **I do not own as I do not own Edward :(

**AN: Jeez. Here's the update you guys begged me to give you in the reviews. Repeatedly. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

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**

**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 10: Where is She**

_**EPOV**_

I could swear she was there five seconds ago. Those were her eyes. But if that were true then why was there nothing under the table? Aro's eyes searched the empty space beneath the table top. Finally he sighed and threw the table cloth in a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Must have been my imagination." Aro frowned at my open mouth suspiciously. I quickly snapped it shut.

"Yes, father. That must have been it." Jane sounded grim, like she was dreading something. I begged her with my eyes to tell me where Bella had gone but she never looked at me once.

Not exactly a good sign.

"Daddy I need Vera Wang's phone number. You know she is the only one worthy enough to make my wedding gown." Heidi sounded incredibly excited. Yay.

"How long does it take Vera to make dresses?"

"Um..... a month or two."

"You only have two days to plan the wedding," Aro spoke sternly.

"WHAT!? DADDY ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?"

"ENOUGH! Jane?" Aro saw that Jane had already left the room without a word while Heidi had uttered a single string of words that I did not have an appreciation for at the moment. Words like: groom, best man, vows. The last one was the worst, of course. Aro exhaled in frustration.

"Wonderful. Now I'll have to find her myself. We need to take care of that Swan girl." I gritted my teeth, attempting to resist the urge to go kill Aro Volturi.

_**BPOV**_

I know this might sound weird. Wait, scratch that, I _know_ this will sound weird but I swear to God, a hole just opened up in the floor and I fell in it. So Aro was just about to lift the cover off of the table and then BAM. All I saw was darkness and all I felt was the whoosh of air as I fell. And all I heard was my shrieking. Then I fell on a really, _really_ soft cushion.

"Hello, my dear." I shot up off the cushion and fell right back down again. Falling for so long really makes you dizzy. A shadow fell over me as I struggled to get up. Whoever it was held out their hand to me and I grabbed it even though it could be a murderer or a rapist or something.

It was the veiled woman.

Blanching, I stumbled away from her.

"Do not be afraid," she whispered.

"Who- Who are you?" I did a poor job of masking my fear.

"Didyme. Aro's sister. And you are Bella Swan." Oh no. Oh no. OH FREAKING NO! This woman was Aro's sister. She was a member of the Volturi family. And from experience I could definitely say that if that's you last name, your first name was either Trouble or Murderer. I kept silent, staring at Didyme with wide puppy dog eyes. They weren't exactly known to work but it was worth a shot.

"You are not following instructions. I want you to release the fear. You need to understand that I won't hurt you before I can help you."

"_Help_ me?" I squeaked. Didyme sighed.

"Yes. Aro is getting on my last nerves. I mean, its not like I wasn't annoyed with him before for Marcus and all but this is all that consumes him. Revenge this and Carlisle that." Her voice got louder and angrier as she went on. "I will not see him hurt another innocent the way he hurt my Marcus."

"Who's Marcus?"

"MARCUS WAS NOT ONLY MY HUSBAND, BUT ONE OF ARO'S FRIENDS! IN ONE OF MY BROTHER'S STUPID ATTEMPTS TO PUT FORTH ANOTHER INSANE REVENGE PLAN, MARCUS GOT HURT AND I WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!" She sobbed, falling to the floor. It was a heartbreaking sound and I moved closer to pat her back awkwardly. I was thinking of Edward and how I could save him from becoming the new _Mr. Volturi. _The name put a bad taste in my mouth. How can someone so good as Edward be associated with this slime ball family? Finally, Didyme quieted and sniffed. I stepped away.

"Look, I have to go." Didyme's head shot up, puzzled.

"Go? Go where?" I remained silent. I did not want to risk the chances of Didyme telling Aro. Awareness, however, sprung into Didyme's eyes and she looked at me knowingly.

"It is useless to try to save your Edward now. He's still probably chained up, locked in a cell. Heidi is an over the top girl. She'll want to spend months planning that wedding-"

"MONTHS!? I don;t have months! I have to save him now!" I looked around the room but my stomach started to sink when I realized there was no door and no windows.

"Calm down," Didyme said as she tried to stop me from my hyperventilation. "Aro is an impatient man. He'll probably give her only one or two days for planning. The best chance we have of setting him free is to wait until the wedding himself."

"But if we _fail _Edward will end up married to Heidi." Didyme shrugged.

"It's the price you'll have to pay. Now come sit down while I go make some-"

"What about Jane!? She's been helping me! Maybe she can free Edward."

"No. Aro wants Jane to take care of you. Did you not here him? And Aro will most likely spend time taunting Edward in front of his cell."

"How did I get here?" I asked, annoyed that all my back up plans had flaws.

"Trapdoor. This house has been here for centuries. Now I need to go make some of those crumpets. And don't try to escape this room. Your efforts would be futile."

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**AN: There you go guys. Hope it was to your liking. Also, a friend and I have started a story THAT I LOVE SO MUCH IT HURTS. It's called Boarding School Bet and here's the summary: **

_Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley are your everyday Queen Bees. They manipulate, they destroy and most importantly, they rule. Bella Swan is just your average high schooler. In her opinion, she has nobody looks and nobody clothes. Lauren and Jessica completely torment Bella in more ways than one. But she's not going to take it anymore… Bring in Edward Cullen. All the guys want to be him and all the girls want to be with him. The only problem is that he is completely unattainable. Lauren and Bella just aren't going to let that stand in their way._


	11. A Day With My Fiancee

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. Lucky...

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**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 11- A Day with My Fianceé**

_**EPOV**_

To my disappointment, I was not allowed to be unchained and therefore, could not search for Bella. It was to be expected, really. Aro wasn't dumb enough to let me do whatever I wanted. But I still held on to that vain hope all the way to my little prison. Aro decided to stay with me the whole time. Heidi also didn't hesitate to visit me with her little wedding cake catalogs. She even thought I cared enough about this thing- I refused to refer to it was the W word- as to ask my opinion on the length of my train.

"Okay sweetie. Short train says sweet and innocent but long says, 'Look at me. I'm flaunting my almost husband with this train. And I'm rich enough to afford it.'"

I didn't reply to her stupidity. Who cared about the length of the train when Bella wasn't even here? Obviously Bella was never under the table in the first place or she would have been under the table when Aro lifted the tablecloth. People just don't disappear without a trace.

"Edward. I'm talking to you," Heidi snapped at me.

"I don't give a damn about your stupid train." Heidi gasped, and began to sob tearless sobs.

"Daddy! Eddie isn't being the perfect fiancé!"

"Hmm?" Aro asked preoccupied with the cookie samples Heidi had brought. I wouldn't open my mouth when she tried to shove them down my throat and in frustration she threw them at her "daddykins."

"EDDIE IS BEING A JERK!"

Aro looked at me sternly and picked up another remote.

"Be careful Edward. If my Heidi is less than satisfied with you a bronze haired, green eyed someone might get hurt."

"OH! OH! Daddy, are you talking about Eddie!? I'm right aren't I!?" Heidi squealed, jumping up and down.

"Good job, Heidi. You can have a cookie." Aro replied sarcastically. Even he realized his own daughter was an idiot. Heidi jerked back in disgust and for one second I actually thought she heard her father's tone of voice but I was wrong.

"EWW! Daddy, if I eat that cookie, I'll get fat and then how will I fit in my Vera Wang?"

"I thought I told you not to buy a Vera Wang." Aro's eyes narrowed.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll just order from some cheap little boutique." Heidi picked up her thick white binder filled with a bunch of other wedding junk and sashayed out of the room, winking at me over her shoulder.

I looked over at Aro who I expected to taunt me some more as he had been doing all day yesterday but he just stared at me in sympathy.

"What?" I asked.

"You don't understand why I am doing this do you?" Obviously.

"No."

"Imagine if your best friend took everything you ever wanted from you. The chance to work with such a prestigious doctor. The very _best_. Because of him I never finished school. I knew my parents would be disappointed. I could not go back to them. Ever. All the money I have is from inheritance. They died thinking I was making it big in the medical universe when really I was just living in a box on the street." Aro got a devious, psycho look in his eye again. "But now you will come and serve your purpose. You will lose your perfect little life."

"B-b-but I thought y-you were making me marry Heidi." I hated myself for looking vulnerable in front of Aro. His face fell.

"Damn," he cursed under his breath. Heidi returned then, squealing once more with happiness while I slowly shriveled away and died.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

I had no idea where Didyme was but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the end and it was slowly approaching. The minister held the bible up, covering his face while I hid behind a particularly large bush. Edward's back was to me and Heidi was the picture of perfection. I always thought Rosalie was the most beautiful girl on the planet but Heidi totally gave her a run for her money. How could Edward want to marry me when he could have _that_?

Wait. Marry?

I looked down at myself, getting uncomfortable in this position and it was with complete and utter shock as I realized that I was wearing a wedding gown exactly like Heidi's.

"And now you may kiss the bride..."

I attempted to jump up to stop them from doing such an atrocity but I was stuck. I couldn't move. Their lips grew closer and closer until they met and a bright flash of light met my eyes.

Game over.

"WAKE UP. BELLA!"

I shot off Didyme's couch, gasping and stumbling. The television was on playing a video game ad. Not to self: Do not leave the TV on while sleeping.

"Bella?" Didyme moved into my line of vision, looking concerned. "Are you alright? I think you were having a nightmare."

I didn't answer because I was still trying to catch my breath. Cold sweat fell into my eyes.

It burned.

"I'm sorry," I finally said. Didyme looked confused.

"For what?"

"For waking you up."

"Pssh. Oh please, dear. I was practically awake. See?" She gestured towards a bowl of popcorn and a DVD case I had not seen at first on the coffee table.

"Oh." I frowned. What time was it anyway?

"Would you perhaps like to get a little more sleep before the big day tomorrow?"

"Huh?"

"The wedding, Bella. When we save your Edward." I felt light headed again and swayed a little. Didyme steadied me with her arms.

"You need to sleep. You cannot help him if you are like this." She looked stern.

"Okay," I mumbled. I didn't want to sleep for risk of another one of those nightmares but if I had to do it to help save Edward then I'd do it. But before I fell asleep I had to ask one more question.

"Didyme, do you have a phone here?" She snorted.

"No. Or I would have had his sadistic ass arrested by now." I was surprised at her use of words.

"Don't look at me like that Bella. I'm jiggy with it and you know it."

I didn't answer as I drifted off into an amused but worried rest.

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**A/N: **And there you have it guys. Bet I got you for a second there with Bella's dream huh? And you thought it was real. Psh. If you're frustrated with the whole- "I'm keeping you waiting for the wedding" thing, then rest assured it will be in the next chapter. Drawing it out won't help anyone. Especially cause I can't wait to write it! WOO!

Also, I have a twitter account and have a place where the links for my stories go. I might decide later that that place is annoying and just dump it. Instead I could just put the links on my profile page. Much easier... If that happens (and it probably will) I'll let you know. The link to my twitter account is on my profile page. And I just might hint things about future chapters or even post teasers on my twitter.... yeah, i'm definitely going to hint things about the next chapter starting....NOW!

**THIS IS MUY IMPORTANTE: the name of my fan fiction account could quite possibly change to something else. SO remember if it changes do not delete a single message from your inbox that looks unfamiliar cause chances are it's me. WHICH is another reason why you should all get twitter- so I can tell you as soon as it happens! If it happens. **

Some good news for me mostly but also for you in a way. I have spring break for two weeks starting from the 13 of March so possibly more updates? Remember though: **_possibly_**. So don't be surprised if it's still weekly.

Reviews: I do read them but don't have the time to reply to most of them so apologies for that. On that note review this chapter RIGHT NOW!


	12. The Apocalypse

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or the necessary training to **whoop Heidi in the behind**. But Bella does...

**A/N: Two days early... **

**WHOA, THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER! But that's what happens when you don't make a cliffie to torture the readers. **Apologies for my epic fail when it comes to describing things and all the "gangsta" talk. I hope this wasn't _too_ confusing as I switched between POVs a lot. Oh and **mild language**. Not that I haven't used it before but the language got **less mild** here. Forgive my grammatical/ spelling errors

**AND YES! THIS _IS_ THE WEDDING SCENE! As you can see the chapter title is quite fitting.

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****Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 12- The Apocalypse

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**

_**BPOV**_

My dream was quickly turning into reality.

This was it. No do overs. If I couldn't save Edward today there was no tomorrow to set things right. Where did my life turn into the jumbled mess it is now? I used to be worried about failing Mr. Banner's evil demonic pop quizzes and not getting home in time to make my dad dinner. Now I worry about Edward marrying the daughter of some psychopath intent on revenge.

This is what happens when you live in Forks. Not that I regret it. If it wasn't for Forks I never would have met Edward in the first place. But then again I was about to possibly watch him marry _Heidi_. Of all the bitches in the world it had to be Heidi!

"Okay so what's the plan?" I whispered to Didyme as we took our seats in the audience for the wedding. The only way I could get in was if I dressed as Didyme did, in a long dark dress with an equally dark veil covering my face. She had assured me that I could pass of as one of her friends if Aro all of a sudden decided to care.

"What plan?" she replied distractedly.

"The plan to save Edward from marrying the devil spawn!" I hissed. Why is she acting like she doesn't have a plan? Did she not have a plan? What if there was no plan? I never even thought about making a plan because I thought she would have a plan. Oh no, what if my plan to follow the plan that I thought Didyme had planned suddenly died causing me to have to come up with my own plan to get Didyme to plan a plan she had not planned!? _What? _My head spun from my confusing head babble.

"Oh that plan." _So she has a plan? Thank God. _I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah. What's the plan?"

"See, here's the thing," she turned her body toward mine and leaned in closely, "I think we should wing it." My eyes widened in shock and I almost sprung from my seat to yell at Didyme but she kept a firm grip on my shoulder.

"You never thought to make a plan!? Oh no, we're doomed Edwaaaaa-," I moaned loudly, in a state of horror. Didyme managed to cover my mouth.

"Hush. I know you are worried but you can't blow your cover. People are staring," she hissed at me. Hesitating, Didmye lifted her hand from my mouth and let go of my shoulder. When I didn't shoot out of my chair and start running for Edward (even though I didn't know where he was) like I wanted to, she continued. "I didn't think making a plan would help here. All we can do is wait for the right moment to make our move. Or more specifically, for me to make _my_ move. I don't think that you're thinking very clearly right now."

I gaped at her. She was going to exclude me from helping just like Jane was and she never even made a plan! Why can't people let me be involved? I think I have a right too considering he is the love of _my_ life and if he married the devil spawn, Didyme probably wouldn't care as much as I would. I looked around, trying to distract myself and get a feeling of my surroundings. Were there any rocks I could throw on the ground in the middle of the aisle for Heidi to trip on so she sprained her ankle? You can't get married with a sprained ankle. Edward would have a day more until he got married and then I could hopefully come up with some sort of plan. _It all comes down to the plan, doesn't it? _I thought bitterly.

The wedding was outside and, boy, this must have been _expensive_. There were tons of flowers around the wedding area. The chairs were incredibly comfortable. Definitely not of the plastic, folding kind. There was an arch over where the minister was supposed to stand and below it was an incredibly impressive ice sculpture of Edward and Heidi sitting on a bench, lip- locked.

My heart clenched painfully. Is this what I'm going to have to look at when they both say "I do?"

The minister appeared from no where. He looked to be in his late forties with short black hair and green eyes that resembled Angela's exactly... ANGELA'S DAD!? My mouth fell open with a pop. Didmye glanced at me, wary that I was freaking out again but I quickly shut my mouth and became suddenly interested in looking at my nails when really I was staring at Mr. Weber and then my attention was diverted by the sound of someone rustling beside me. I glanced over and froze.

It was Angela herself. She took out her cell phone and began texting someone. That cellphone was a beacon of light for me. The light at the end of the crappy tunnel. Cellphones mean 911 and 911 means I can get the police to arrest Aro and hopefully lock Heidi in there with him. That thought brought me much more pleasure than was really necessary. This was it. I was going to make my move whether Didyme wanted to involve me or not.

"Angela, it's me," I whispered looking at her like she was my savior. Angela gasped and peered closely through my veil.

"Bella? What are you doing here!? Dressed in _that_." She looked at my dress in disgust. "Did Alice let you come here with that on?"

"Angela, give me your phone." I did not have time for this. I needed to call the FBI so they could slam Heidi in prison where she belongs...

"Sure." I snatched the phone from her hands and hurriedly dialed 911. "But what's going on? How do you know the Volturi family and who's the chick next to you who's dressed exactly like you?"

I didn't answer. I was having another life crisis due to the fact that ANGELA'S DAMN PHONE WON'T RING! I looked at the screen. No bars.

"Ange, there's no bars on this thing. How were you texting before?" I whispered hurriedly to her.

"I wasn't texting. I was playing Pac- Man on my phone. Bella what's wrong?" Angela was too perceptive sometimes.

Before I could break down and admit my problems or throw the phone in frustration (whichever came first), the wedding march started playing.

_I'M SCREWED! _Apparently I didn't notice this before but Edward was standing right in front of Mr. Weber. He looked so... defeated. It physically hurt me to have to look at his expression but I forced myself too, knowing that this could probably be the last time I ever saw him. As if he could feel my burning gaze Edward's eyes met mine.

_**Third Person POV (since Bella is clearly too depressed to care about the wedding ceremony)**_

Jane came first, throwing flowers around with a sour expression on her face. She shouldn't be complaining. What Edward had to do was worse. A bunch of giggling bridesmaids approached the alter, each making sure to bat their eyelashes at Edward. Heidi and Aro soon reached where the minister and Edward were standing.

_**Back to BPOV...**_

I tore my eyes off of Edward's and focused on Heidi who giggled every few seconds and looked triumphant and overjoyed. How is it that Heidi got the sort of happy ending that I didn't?

The minister cleared his throat. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Edward... er... Volturi and Heidi Volturi."

"That's MISS Heidi Volturi." Heidi, ever the control freak, snapped at the minister.

She impatiently kept urging the minister on, skipping parts of his sermon. Until he got so frustrated that he had to go directly to the end.

"If anyone should be unhappy with the joining of these two forces they should speak now or forever hold their peace."

"Oh please. How could anyone object to this!? Edward and I belong together," Heidi interrupted the silence. I only saw red after that comment. HOW DARE SHE SAY SUCH A THING WHEN SHE AND HER FATHER WERE FORCING THIS MARRIAGE UPON EDWARD IN THE FIRST PLACE! I decided this was the moment to make my move. But before I could do so, someone else had to speak up.

"LOOK BRO, I OBJECT!"

_**EPOV (The Wedding Scene)**_

The smell of cologne choked me. It smelled like the apocalypse.

Heidi's bridesmaids surrounded me, gushing over me, suffocating me. Calling me words I hope I will never have to hear again. Words like- "sexy man beast." I could swear they were actually flirting with me. Heidi really was an idiot if she kept company with these people. The strawberry blonde was the worst one. Her name was Tina or something. Whatever.

I felt completely weary as The Bridesmaids from hell flitted around me like they were high from the smell of lip gloss. There was no point in _trying _anymore. I had absolutely no idea where Bella was and the one time I saw Jane today, she didn't look worried so I figured everything was alright. I succumbed to the little emo inside of me while the old me, the one that used to see Bella smile almost everyday, told me to kill the emo and bring out the Napoleon Dynamite.

Sensing something was wrong, I looked around the room expecting to see the Bridesmaid's from Hell putting together a collage of "hawt" guys. But to my surprise, the room was empty. Quiet and yet the opposite of what my future will be like. For as long as I live, I will have to hear Heidi's babble on clothes and celebrities.

"Well Edward, it is time," Aro said as he entered the tent. I went to him, attempting to prepare myself for the future.

And entirely failing at it.

At the altar I shook hands with the minister while he looked at me with surprise.

"Edward Cullen? Is that you?" The voice sounded familiar and come to think of it so did his appearance. I feel like I've seen him before...

"Yes. Who are you?"

"It's Mr. Weber. Angela's dad."

"Mr. Weber I'm very glad to see you; you have no idea but can I borrow your phone for a bit!?"I asked quickly after a brief moment of shock. Sadly the wedding march chose that moment to start playing.

Jane began walking towards the alter, only stopping to throw flowers on the ground. Her expression would have been funny if I had anything to feel with right now. I did, however, feel a burning gaze nagging at me from my side. When I looked, I saw it was only a veiled woman. It was strange because the gaze felt so familiar to me. It felt like Bella. I locked eyes with the veiled woman and just before she looked away I realized the truth.

It _was_ Bella. Bella was _here_. To witness me marry the ever annoying Heidi Vol-trampy. For the first time today I felt something that could only be described as determination. When the time comes for the "I do" I'm saying I don't and then I'll just run for Bella, grab her and get the hell out of here. Easy peasy. _And I'll look over my shoulder while we run to laugh in Heidi's face._

I turned my attention back to this ever- depressing wedding. Heidi was flipping pages of Mr. Weber's bible to the end. The she told him to "get to the last part of the damn wedding speech." Mr. Weber complied, annoyed.

"If anyone should be unhappy with the joining of these two forces they should speak now or forever hold their peace."

"Oh please. How could anyone object to this!? Edward and I belong together," Heidi interrupted the short silence. I inwardly snorted. Heidi and I are about as right for each other as she is with a dictionary.

"LOOK BRO, I OBJECT!" The crowd gasped as we all looked towards the back. Standing there was a tall, Native American boy with pants hanging halfway down his butt and a wifebeater. He was grinning hugely and I was almost blinded by the amount of metal he had in his mouth.

"Jacob, sit down RIGHT NOW!" Heidi looked _pissed_. She really was like the leader of the Bridezillas.

"Naw girl! I gots to slap that fool for stealin' you!" Who was he talking about? He looked at me. "Look dawg, it is not fly that you stole my girl, H from me."

After a second of trying to translate whatever this do- rag wearing psycho just said, I responded.

"Your girl? Look you can have her."

"AWWW HELLS NO!! I DIDN'T COME ALL THIS WAY TO FIGHT YOU FOR H JUST TO FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE A PUSSY!!!"

"Word!" A guy dressed exactly like the one before me spoke. "My name is Embrizzle Bam Dizzle." I squinted my eyes.

"Embry Call?" I almost didn't recognize him. He turned beet red.

"Who the 2Pac is Embry? It's EMBRIZZLE BAM DIZZLE! And I'm Jacob's friend."

"Embrizzle! You just insulted 2Pac!!" Jacob interceded. He sounded extremely outraged.

"OH SNAPS! My brother you are right. MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR 2PAC.... SILENCE DONE!"

"Good job Embrizzle. Now back to you Pussy. I'm sorry but GANGSTA code states I have a right to beat the pretty boy pussy off your face then H can decide who get to marry her!"

I turned to Heidi. She looked excited. "Okay! I'll be the judge then! Just make sure you don't get any blood on my ice sculpture!" My jaw dropped. Was she serious?

_**BPOV**_

WHAT.

THE.

HELL.

THE BITCH WAS READY TO DROP EDWARD LIKE LAST MONTH'S PRADA FOR SOME WANNABE GANGSTER!?

"Excuse me!" I stood up and ripped the veil off of my head. The audience looked ecstatic that a new character was being added to this very soap opera like wedding. Heidi looked irked.

"Eww," Heidi said scrunching her nose in distaste. "Look what the cat dragged in."

"JANE!" Aro boomed. "WHY IS _SHE_ HERE!?" Jane remained silent, looking at me with doubt in her eyes. Well she didn't think I could save Edward? I was going to prove her wrong.

"Look, Heidi." It was very hard for me to speak rationally and calmly to her. "I think we all know you and uh... Jacob have a lot in common so why don't you just forget about Edward."

"Oh please. You just want him all to to yourself. Why don't you hustle over to a shower. Your hair is greasy, unkempt and, not to mention, smelly!"

Jacob took advantage of the situation by punching Edward square in the jaw. I froze for a second while the audience took a collective gasp. Then everything that occurred after that was just a jumble of collective chaos.

So Heidi and, um, Embrizzle are standing chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT!" over and over again. The audience eventually joins in while Angela is yelling at me in horror, wondering what we should do. God knows what Didyme is doing at this point. I'm too busy running over to the altar to try to stop this whole thing. Heidi saw what I was trying to do and decided she wanted a little fist fight of her own so what does the bitch do? She slaps my cheek. Hard. The chanting in the audience gets louder and I resolved to kill Heidi. I just couldn't take it anymore so I slapped her. We carried on like this for who knows how long with hair pulling and scratching and biting but then people started to get quiet. Before I could wonder if the fight was over, a voice rang out.

"EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!" We all complied and I saw that the person who gave the orders was just a tall Native American teenager much like Jacob was. "AND WAVE IT LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE! HEY!"

"Quil! Are you serious, man? You ratted us out!" Jacob yelled incredulously.

"Bella!" Alice hopped out of the passenger side and collided into me with the force of a small army. I don't think I've never been more happy to see her in my life.

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**AN: Yes H was HEIDI! Anyway, Happy St. Marcus Day! I hope you all are wearing red right now. And apologies because this chapter seems like it went downhill (the writing not the plot) from the beginning of EPOV. :(**

**Getting our Twilight DVD soon! Have fun at the parties you're going to (if you're going to one)!**

**And for all the EPOV lovers, I'll try to do a mostly EPOV next chapter.  
**

**_Please review even if it's just to tell me I did a bad job_. **


	13. One More Problem

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or the characters. Just the plot.

**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 13- One More Problem**

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_**EPOV**_

Esme and Renee reacted exactly the same when they saw Bella and I standing there. They burst into tears. I have to admit though, I almost did too. But when you go through days of hopelessness, terror and, because of Heidi, stupidity, it's safe to say that you would feel like singing to the treetops when you are finally free. Emmett had clapped me on the back saying- "I know Alice is scary but wandering through the woods was a little over- the- top Edward." Alice gave him a dirty look and hugged me tightly before skipping off towards Bella again. Rosalie had_ real _tears running down her eyes.

"Dammit Edward! You and Bella owe me a new tube of mascara."

"Rosalie, I almost died. Cut me some slack." A look of confusion fell across her face.

"Died? What are you talking about? All you did was get lost in the forest for a couple of-"

"CARLISLE, WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN?!" Aro was screaming, spit flying out of his mouth. He became a rabid dog at the sight of Carlisle. The park rangers had some trouble keeping him still. Jane appeared and helped them out.

"Allow me," she said, slipping a metal syringe out of one of her thick boots. She plunged it into Aro's arm. He immediately became limp. The rangers looked spooked.

"What did you just do to him little girl?"

"I made him sleep. That's all you need to know." A shadow fell across her face and I saw the resemblance between her and Aro. "_And don't ever call me a little girl._" The rangers nodded their heads and assured Jane that she would never be referred to as a little girl again. I looked at the rest of my family and they all looked freaked out except for Bella, who was talking on the phone while her dad gripped her shoulders tightly and flinched every time someone came near.

Carlisle looked extremely remorseful. "Goodbye old friend," he whispered as the rangers dragged Aro's body into their pickup truck. Then he walked over to me and hugged me tightly.

We returned back to our campsite and spent one last night there. While sitting around the campfire for the last time, I debated with myself some more about what to do about Bella. She must hate me after putting her through all that crap with the Volturi. All she had for comfort was the knowledge that. Aro was in a psychiatric ward someplace far, far away. Heidi was thrown into prison because she was an accessory. Didyme and Jane now lived in Phoenix, where Didyme was trying to nurture Jane back into the role of "innocent child" but I don't think that was possible considering she carried metal syringes in her boots. Jacob and Embrizzle were fired while Seth was promoted to head of the ranger staff.

It was bad enough when Bella insulted me because of the whole Captain of the soccer team thing but her rejecting me because I couldn't get her out of the Volturi mansion sooner was something I knew I could not handle. So I slyly tried to memorize everything about her face for one last time.

And then I turned away.

_**BPOV**_

The whole time during our last night at the campsite, I was thinking about Didyme's last words to me before I left the Volturi mansion for good and she and Jane went off to start their new life.

"_I never got to say goodbye to Marcus. Don't let him escape you too."_

What was that supposed to mean? Was she talking about Ed- No. No she's not Bella. She's NOT secretly telling you that you and _him_ belong together. Because that would be a ridiculous notion to entertain. Imposible. Unreal. Not gonna happen. Even though you can't stop thinking it could. Hoping. Wondering. Praying. Dreaming. I absently stuffed a marshmallow in my mouth and ended up burning myself because I was too preoccupied to remember to let it cool off. Emmett laughed at me while Rose went to get me some water. I think she felt bad about the way she was acting before I got held hostage.

Alice never said a word to me. Instead she sat quietly staring at me...and... her brother.

I can't even say his name in my head or else my stomach might start fluttering out of my body. How pitiful it is to be pining away after someone who is no where in your reach.

That thought still didn't stop me from stealing glances at him every once in a while, wondering what was going through his head. He looked lost in thought as well but with an undercurrent of conflict raging in his eyes. I felt the overwhelming urge to get up and help him with whatever problem he had, to soothe him. But all I could do was grit my teeth and dig my nails into the rough bark I was sitting on.

This was going to be harder than I thought it would. But I knew it was the best way to save myself from the pain.

_**APOV**_

I think I've let this go on far enough.

Don't get me wrong; Jasper is right. I do meddle in other peoples' business and I should let them make these kinds of decisions on their own. But he never said I couldn't _give them a push in the right direction_.

Seriously. What are these two thinking? It's been two weeks. Two weeks of watching Bella and Edward avoid each other in the hallway during school. Two weeks of Edward being all emo and playing some miserable, depressing songs on his beloved piano. Two weeks of Bella refusing to come over to my house at the risk of seeing my brother. It didn't matter if Rose and I went over there to drag her out. Bella was absolutely and completely resilient. That was the minute I had snapped and threw all the warnings Jazz had given me about "staying out of it." Alice is going to do what Alice does best: _Meddle her heart out_.

Who did they think they were kidding? I'm not blind. I saw how they were staring at each other during our last night at camp. One would quickly look away anytime the other happened to look up. The look in their eyes was unmistakable despite the newly acquired freedom from my father's psycho ex- best friend. They looked sad. Heartrendingly, little orphans being forced to work in sweatshops for no pay and being only able to eat dead crickets for dinner sad. I think- no, I _know_ that they looked worse than when I saw the end of '_Titanic._' '_TITANIC_'!!!

How could they be so masochistic?

_**EmPOV (Emmett)**_

Okay something was definitely wrong with the women in this house. They were all so stressed all of a sudden. Sure we're home now and that means school and work again but this was the most frazzled and OUT OF CHARACER I had ever seen them!

Alice didn't dance around the house excitedly anymore. Instead she chose to sit quietly in her room, staring out the window. This is not typical Alice behavior.

Esme let things on the stove or in the oven burn. I actually had to go into the kitchen myself these days just to make sure our steak wasn't too well done. I was wasting valuable time looking over the food when I could be beating Jasper at some mindless video games.

I never saw Bella anymore. She never came over to the house. Which basically meant the days were boring now. There was nothing more entertaining than seeing Bella trip over her own feet. Only time I saw that these days was at school and she seemed to be doing it even _more_ these days. Yesterday I saw her walk right into an open locker door. Her forehead turned red right where she made contact with the metal door. Hehe.

Rosalie didn't bother to slap me on the back of the head whenever I made a rude comment. She just ignored it and sometime I even caught her BITING. HER. NAILS. Did I do something especially wrong to make her do something like that? Last time I checked it was going to be a cold day in July before Rosalie Lillian Hale _ever_ destroyed her appearance.

And the last girl of the house, Edward, was just blah. He just sat there staring into space, or reading, or playing his piano. What kind of life is that? It sounds dead boring to me especially the reading part.

When did this family turn into an everlasting funeral procession? I had to do something. But what?

And then it hit me.

Jasper and Carlisle.

Jasper and Carlisle are the only normal people I know now. That's not to say they didn't keep glancing at their significant others worriedly but, hey, it was better than Edward's moping.

Just then, as if my thoughts had reached God's ears, Jasper walked through the door with a shopping bag in one hand.

"Jazz," I said as he made his way to the staircase but he just ignored me and kept walking, his eyes intent on something.

"Jazz!" What's wrong with him? Has he been listening to so much Animal Planet that as a mental defense his body has stopped up his ears? The man can try to hide it but I know he's obsessed with _Meerkat Manor_.

"JASPER!" He jumped and dropped his shopping bag. I snickered when I saw a pair of stilettos fall out. "Getting in touch with your feminine side again, Jazmina?" He glared at the sound of his old nick name from first grade.

"Emmett, for the last time. I did not have a Barbie doll fetish in the first grade!" he said with venom in his voice.

"Then why did I find one in your backpack?"

"My sister put it in the wrong backpack! Grow up." He quickly gathered the shoes, put it in the bag and continued his trek up the stairs.

"Wait!" He didn't stop or look back and his foot steps were getting quicker. I hurried after him as he reached the landing. "C'mon, Jazz, it was just a joke!" He knocked on Alice's bedroom door as I caught up with him. No one answered from inside.

"Alice isn't here. Look, I need your help with something. I don't know if you've noticed but Basically all the women in the family are being weird. Esme, Bella, Alice, Rosalie and Edward. _Especially Edward._ We need to do something. I haven't had a proper laugh at Bella in weeks except in school."

"You think I haven't noticed!? You think I'm not already trying everything I can!? Do you know how much I spent on these shoes!? These are the ones Alice has been wanting for months! When I ask her what's wrong she gives me some cryptic message or she asks some random question! Shopping trips don't even work! Nothing I do works!" He threw the bag on the ground. I cringed, waiting for Esme to yell but the hall only rang with silence and the harshness of Jasper's words. It shouldn't really surprise me that Jasper was so frustrated. I was too and I could just feel it radiating from Alice whenever we were in the same room. But the question was _why_?

"Jasper, why do you think Alice is acting so weird?" Jasper's hands slowly removed themselves from the side of his head where he was massaging his temples and he turned to me.

"You don't know?" he asked, incredulous. I shook my head in response.

"Really?"

"I said no, Jasper. Could you explain it to me now?"

"Okay, okay. I'll explain. Bella and Edward..."

_**APOV**_

I hurried home to tell everyone of my plan. Edward and Bella weren't getting out of it so easy now. It took a while but now I knew exactly how I was going to get them together and it was so simple that I couldn't believe I had not seen it earlier.

When I pulled up in front of the house, a wide eyed Emmett and a worried looking Jasper were walking out the front door. They stopped when they saw me get out of the car. They knew me well enough to know I had something important to say.

"Emmett, call the movie theater for some showtimes. Jasper, call Rosalie and get her over here pronto. I'll resurrect Edward from his room." Ignoring their shocked faces I made my way towards the funeral room/moping room. Formerly know as Edward's bedroom. It was pretty much always pitch dark in there but I didn't mind. I didn't want to look at Edward's heartbroken expression. There was a steady stream of ballads about lovers lost and dwindling hope coming from the closed doorway. If this is how Edward acts when Bella loves him, I'd hate to see how he'd act if she didn't.

I tried knocking and calling his name first, of course, but he didn't answer. SO... I just used a bobby pin to open it instead.

"HEY!" he yelled in protest when I opened the door, exposing his sullen and pale face to the light. "I don't want to see the light. Close the door." A whiner and an idiot.

"No. All this darkness cannot be good for you. Get up. You need a boy's night out." He groaned when I flicked the light switch on.

"Go away." He shielded his eyes with his hands.

"No. If you want to be ignorant and not find happiness then fine but at least do this one little thing for me Edward." He frowned. "Be ready in five." I sniffed the air. "But first take a shower."

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**AN:** So let me know what you think and just wanted to warn you if it wasn't already apparent that the story is going to finish soon. Possibly next chapter. No sequel.

**Next (and perhaps the last) Chapter: Alice's Plan IN ACTION.**


	14. Thank You Defective Porsche

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. :(**

Rest in Peace Daddy's Little Cannibal_ (September 11, 1990 - May 8, 2009)_

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_**Adventures in Camping**_

_**Chapter 14: Thank You Defective Porsche**_

_**APOV**_

I gunned my Porsche down the road while Bella gripped the seats. If she didn't stop there'd be a permanent mark in the leather.

"Bella?" I asked, gritting my teeth. It took a while to drag Bella out of the bathroom where she was cleaning obsessively. It was obvious she was trying to keep busy and not think about Edward by the fact that she was cleaning the bathtub with a toothbrush.

"Huh?" she squeaked out.

"You're ruining the seats."

"Well why are you driving so fast!?" She sounded terrified.

"Well, if I don't drive fast we won't get to the movie theater on time for the showing!" I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a nervous Rosalie chewing on her nails, staring fixedly at the clock on the dashboard.

"It's just a movie," Bella mumbled. "Can't I just go back home?'" Her voice was already defeated, as if she knew what my answer would be already.

"No." I pressed down harder on the gas. I came to far to have this plan fail now. Bella was acting slightly normal. Fear of speeding cars. Normal for her.

_**JPOV**_

"Hey go out to the lobby and call Alice."

"No way man. Did you just see that guy get blown up!? This is too cool for words!" Emmett hissed right back at me while Edward just stared glumly into his popcorn.

"Are you serious!? This movie sucks. The special effects are just as crappy as the ones in that vampire movie Alice made me see last week." Emmett glared at me.

"Look, if you can't appreciate a good movie when you see one then you can just leave Jasper."

"Fine. I will. Watch Edward."

Emmett chose to ignore me and start whispering to the stupid girl on the big screen who was about to attempt to kill a zombie. How do you kill a zombie? They're already dead!

_This is what happens when you hang out with Emmett for long periods of time. _

When I called Alice it went straight to voicemail. Weird...

_**RPOV**_

"PRESS ON THE GAS HARDER!"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M TRYING!?"

"This never would have happened if I had just stayed home."

"SHUTUP BELLA!" Alice and I yelled at the same time. We were kind of... on the edge right now. The car- the shiny brand new car, mind you- decided to just fail on us. The Porsche has been here on the side of the road for the past five minutes and Alice and I have already had enough fights to last us for a year. Bella just makes little smug "I told you so" comments.

"Alice, just get out of the damn car and fix the engine."

"ROSALIE LOOK OUTSIDE!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOOK OUTSIDE!? I'VE BEEN LOOKING OUTSIDE FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES TRYING TO FIND A TOW TRUCK OR SOMETHING!"

"NO STUPID! I MEAN THE RAIN. I'M NOT GOING OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN!"

"I'd go outside if I had umbrella. But that's at home where I _should _be right now but-"

"SHUTUP BELLA!" This was all Alice's fault. If she had charged her damn cellphone last night, we could have called the boys and they would have come to pick us up.

"Rose, if you didn't have such bad cell service we could have called the boys and-"

"EXCUSE ME ALICE!"

_**BPOV**_

I tried to drown out the sound of my best friends' arguing by grabbing my old copy of _Wuthering Heights_ from the compartment under the dashboard but the romance just make me think of Edward.

Edward.

Sigh.

I wonder what he was doing right now? Is he too being harassed by his friends? Is he reading a book? Is he reading this book? Well that would be cool. Then we could talk about it and-

_Stop Bella. _

I leaned forward, putting my forehead on the cool dashboard. After a few deep breaths, I realized that it was absolutely silent in the Porsche. When I looked over at Alice, I saw that she was staring at me, concerned.

"You okay, Bella?" The question came from Rosalie.

"Yeah," I lied. Why was trying to stay away from Edward so hard!? When I fell in love with him it was easy. Effortless. Piece of cake. Why can't falling _out of love_ be the same?

"Bella?" I snapped out of it. Alice and Rosalie were getting seriously worried. "Do you want to talk about it?" I didn't want to unload all of my problems on my friends. They had enough to worry about. Like how to get the car started. I could solve my problems all by myself. I've been doing it for my own mother for years now.

I'm such a horrible liar. I can't even lie to myself anymore. _Edward what have you done to me?_

"Bella!"

"Huh!?" Alice leaned in real close, glaring into my eyes. I backed away. The stare was too intense. Like Edward's...

_Bella don't do this to your self again. You can't be a vegetable forever. You have to move on. Without Edward. _

I made a little sob of pain when I thought of a life without Edward. Alice leaned back and exchanged an anxious look with Rosalie. All of a sudden Rose got one of those scary, blazing looks in her eyes. She crossed her arms and barked out an order.

"Lock the doors." Alice immediately complied without saying a word.

"Bella." I dragged my eyes away from my now locked door and stared, wide eyed at Rosalie. "It's time we had a little talk."

_Uh-oh._

_**EPOV**_

Emmett and Jasper were arguing in the movie theater, catching the attention of the other people in the theater.

"We need to find them!"

"How are we supposed to find them, Jazz? Check out every city in Washington?"

"What if something happened to them!?" Emmett scoffed. The person behind him was burning a hole into the back of his head with the force of their glare.

"They're not stupid. If something happened they'd call someone." Who were they talking about anyway?

"Why aren't they picking up the phone then?" Jasper asked mockingly.

"Shhhhh!" Someone in front of Jasper threw a handful of popcorn at him. Jasper got up and marched out of the theater. Emmett got up as well.

"C'mon Eddie. Jazzy-kins needs his Alice Bear." Oh. So the person was Alice. Maybe Rosalie too. I ignored the nickname and followed silently. I was tired of this stupid movie and its false idea of romance anyway. How does it make sense that the stupid human girl would still try to help her boyfriend turned zombie? Why would she still love him even after he killed her best friend and sister? If this made sense she'd get as far away from him as possible and move on with her life while the boyfriend would just continue to be a monster... No where in real life would the girl forgive her monster of a boyfriend. Right?

Maybe...

"Edward!"

"Huh?" I looked around. We were standing by Emmett's Jeep and I didn't even realize it.

"Emmett almost pulled out without you! Stop standing outside in the rain and get in the car." Jasper looked at me warily from the passenger side.

"Nothing's wrong with me," I said nervously. I didn't want Jasper asking any questions.

"He didn't ask," Emmett's voice was in an uncharacteristic dead monotone. _Time for Jasper and Emmett to play Detective, _I thought sarcastically.

"So Edward... What's up with you?" Jasper asked conversationally.

"Popcorn in the theater was pretty nasty but aside from that- nothing much. You?"

"Bella Swan," Emmett said out of nowhere. I winced at the mention of the name.

"AHA! You can't fool me Eddie. Obviously you have separation issues. Just talk to Bella already. Even Jasper is getting seriously annoyed."

"I do not have separation issues! I'M PERFECTLY FINE!" I shouted at Emmett.

"Right. You sound _extremely_ fine." He sounded sarcastic. My teeth snapped.

"I'm not listening to you anymore, Emmett." Crossing my arms, I fixedly turned to stare out the windows at the stormy weather.

"Jasper don't you have anything to say to Edward?" Emmett prodded.

"If Edward is too stupid to realize what's right in front of him then he really doesn't deserve Bella."

The car slowed down noticeably and Emmett punched Jasper's arm. I hung my head at Jasper's confirmation of what I already knew.

"She can always go out with Mike Newton." At that my head snapped up again. What was Jasper talking about? Bella would never go out with Mike Newton. Right? I mean... MIKE NEWTON OF ALL PEOPLE! No, Bella was mad at me when I spread the rumor that she and Mike were going out. She'd never say yes to him.

_But she'd say yes to someone, someday. _

But- she- NO. Bella can't go out with someone else. My heart clenched at the thought.

_What? Do you expect her to stay single for you?_

I saw red and my hands tightened into fists. My anger was overwhelming. I realized I wanted to hit something. The car pulled over onto the side of the road and Emmett started to turn towards me but I didn't have time for small talk. I needed to vent my fury with myself somehow.

Jumping out of the car, I walked towards a tree with my empty Snapple bottle.

I hurled it at a tree.

_**BPOV**_

Rosalie handed me a tissue after I told them how helpless I felt about Edward.

"So why don't you go to him and ask him how _he_ feels Bella?"

"Because he hasn't spoken to me since we got home. Obviously, he doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about him.," I said tearfully. Alice and Rosalie exchanged a glance but before they could say anything to me a Jeep pulled up behind us. Before we could break the car doors in our haste to get out, Edward stomped out of the car. His face was locked in an expression of complete fury and pain. It made me want to get out of the car, hug him and ask him what was wrong. I'd never seen Edward look so sorrowful.

Jasper stepped out just as Edward threw a glass bottle at a tree. It hit its mark. Jasper walked towards him, probably to restrain him if he did anything else. But Edward just stood there, staring at the broken pieces of glass on the floor with a calculating expression.

Jasper put his hand on Edward's shoulder and guided him towards the car. Without a word, he got back into the backseat. At the same time the rain went from downpour to drizzle. Alice opened the door tentatively and made her way towards Jazz. Rosalie looked at my shocked, deer in headlights face.

"Let's go," she said simply.

_**EPOV**_

After sitting in the backseat for a few minutes, thinking, I heard the front passenger side door open. Jasper was back although I still don't know where Emmett went or why he left the car.

"Hey Jazz," I said mournfully. He didn't respond."I have been a complete idiot these past few weeks, thinking I could just... ignore Bella and the pain would get all better." Jasper's breathing picked up. I still didn't look at him, not wanting to see the smugness. "I realized that if I just withered away in sorrow, she'd move on with some other guy." I gritted my teeth. "And... I don't want her with some other guy. I want her to be with _me._.. Hopefully, she'll forgive me for the whole Volturi incident. She was suffering and I couldn't even save her. It was so infuriating. But I'll fight for her Jasper. I love her too much to let her go." I heard Jasper gasp. How was that so surprising? I thought he knew this already. I looked at Jasper and got the let out my own gasp.

Because Jasper wasn't sitting in the front passenger seat, looking pleased or smug.

It was a blushing Bella, looking shocked and... ecstatic?

_Say something you idiot!_

"B-Bella. I,uh... where... how...?" Not taking her eyes off me, she pointed to the yellow Porsche in front of the Jeep. _How did I not notice Alice's car!? _"Oh. So uh..." I gulped. "You heard everything I said, huh?" She nodded slowly, a grin forming on her face.

_CRAP._

"Look, Bella I-" Before I could say anything else, she stood (as best as she could) out of the front seat and clumsily climbed to the back seat. She inhaled nervously and gave a little shaky laugh. Taking my hands in hers, she said the words that made my heart soar.

"I forgive you. Edward." I stopped breathing. I couldn't believe it.

"You DO!?" I choked out.

"Of course I do," she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's not your fault Aro held us hostage." Her voice got hard at the mention of Aro.

"Bella, what's wrong?" She was staring out the window, sadly.

"Nothing. It's just... I can still hear your screaming from when Aro electrocuted you. And I just hid under a table. I'm so sorry Edward." She buried her face in my shirt and cried.

_**BPOV**_

Edward put his arms around me while I sobbed. He kissed the top of my head and whispered in my ear, "It's no one's fault." I quieted down a few minutes after he said that.

"So... about everything else you said..." Edward froze. I lifted my face and he looked nervous again.

It was endearing.

"You said... you wanted to be with me and that you didn't want me with-"

"Any one else," he whispered. He fiddled with his hands behind my back. I decided to let him know it was alright.

"Remember when Lauren expressed interest in you?" His eyes narrowed down at me.

"If by 'expressed interest' you mean she followed me around everywhere, then yes I remember."

"Well remember when you saw her inexplicably stopped following you one day?"

"Oh yeah. She kept looking at me as if she was frightened."

"I can be threatening when I want to be." I shrugged, a small smile on my lips. Edward's eyebrows shot up.

"That was you!?" Before I could answer him, he started laughing. "Ha, ha. Oh Bella you're amazing..." He froze as he realized what he just said. I grinned again, ignoring the pain in my cheeks from the last time I grinned.

"You're pretty amazing yourself," I said tentatively, looking away from him. He pressed his warm hand to my cheek, forcing me to look at him. His gorgeous green eyes were loving and tender. It nearly took my breath away. He smiled crookedly at me. "I love you, Bella."

I blushed and tried to cover my cheeks with my hands but he just removed them. "I love seeing you blush. I love everything about you. And I'm sorry for not telling you sooner." I was so overcome with emotion that I just threw my arms around him without thinking and kissed him.

His soft lips were frozen against mine for a moment but soon he responded just as eagerly.

I pulled away only to return the words to him. "I love you too." He looked like he was floating on Cloud Nine. Did I look like that when he said those three words to me? He kissed me again.

Well if I didn't look like I was in heaven before. I should now...

We pulled away from each other, breathing heavily. He glanced outside and I followed his gaze to see that Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were standing next to the Porsche looking at the Jeep nervously.

Probably waiting for us.

"Hmm..." Edward said thoughtfully. I looked back at him. "Why did you come here in the first place?" My eyes widened with the sudden realization.

"Jasper told me that to fix the Porsche, I would need to get his hat from the backseat. He said he couldn't fix anything 'without his blue cap' and Rose and Alice seemed suddenly interested in talking to Emmett. I knew you were in here but I figured I could get the hat and leave. But then you started talking and I just froze."

"So they sent you in here, knowing that we would probably end up together by the time we got out." My heart jumped out of my chest when he said 'together.' Edward and I were _together_. "How about we mess with their heads a bit?"

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**AN: So while you're waiting for chapter 15, there's a link to a deleted scene from this chapter. The link is on my profile page. It should be the first one under PERSONAL LINKS.  
**

**So Alice's plan was to get Edward and Bella in the same place (movie theater) in the hopes that they would confess.**

**The next chapter should be the last and will feature Edward's plan.  
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**Feel free to review.... **


	15. Messing With Some Heads

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. **

**AN: I finished it! Recap of the last chapter: Alice comes up with a plan to get Edward and Bella together. The plan backfires and instead, Alice, Rose & Bella are on the side of the road with a messed up Porsche. Meanwhile, Emmett, Jasper and Edward are worrying about the girls and eventually leave the theater (where the plan was to take place) only to find their girlfriends on the side of a road. Alice comes up with another plan and Bella ends up in a Jeep with Edward (whom she did not know was in there). One thing leads to another and they are together! Only they decide Alice and Rose deserve payback...

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_**Adventures in Camping**_

_**Chapter 15- Messing With Some Heads

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**APOV**

"Maybe..."

Rosalie took the time to pry her eyes away from Emmett's Jeep so she could look at me. "Maybe what, Alice?"

"Maybe someone should go and look." I had asked Jasper to make up some story to get Bella to go in the jeep without her knowing Edward was in there and she fell for it. But now Rose, Emmett, Jasper and I were stuck out here waiting to see what would happen. If we were lucky, Bella and Edward would walk out smiling and holding hands. If not, well... let's not think about that right now.

"We can't look Alice," Jasper reassured me. "What if we interrupted something?" Emmett began to snicker suggestively but Rosalie silenced him with a slap to the back of his head.

"Get your head out of the gutter Em. I don't have the patience to deal with your nonsense right now!" Rosalie hissed.

"Ow, Rose. Why does everyone always hit ME!? Do I look like a whack- a- mole or something?" Emmett complained loudly.

Just then Bella jumped out of the Jeep, looking positively radiant. She was was clutching her open cellphone to her chest. She ran over towards us and began to hug everyone. I started bouncing on the balls of my feet excitedly. This must be it. The Porsche didn't fail on me for nothing. Bella and Edward WERE FINALLY TOGETHER!!!

Bella giggled and inhaled deeply to announce the big news but she didn't need to. I did it for her. "You two are together, aren't you!?" Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Wow Alice. You're more intuitive than I realized. Yep, me and him are going to go out on our first date tomorrow night!" Rose and I squealed.

"Wow, Edward actually got someone to go out with him. Must be why he's still in the Jeep then. Dying from shock." Emmett said jokingly. Jasper tried to cover up the fact that he was laughing by turning around. Didn't fool me though. We were going to have a talk about that later...

I noticed that Bella's face had turned skeptical. "Someone actually agreed to go out with _that_ oaf?" Everyone started laughing but then we noticed Bella still looked serious.

"Um yeah Bella. You." Emmett, like the rest of us, was completely confused.

Bella snorted. "Yeah right. Like I'd actually go out with him!" She shuddered delicately and Rose and I exchanged a 'what's going on' look.

"Then who were you talking about?" Rosalie asked slowly.

"Mike Newton!" Bella's face dropped the seriousness and she started to ooze happiness once more.

I waited for Bella to admit she was kidding. That this was all a big joke and she would never agree to go out with Mike Newton if he were the last guy on Earth. My hopes were crushed as Bella sighed dreamily and quoted Shakespeare. "'O Mike, Mike, wherefore art thou Mike?'" My eyes widened in horror. Bella NEVER quotes Shakespeare unless it's serious! "How likely do you guys think it is that Mike will kiss me on the first date?"

Rosalie didn't buy it. "How did Mike ask you out then? Tell me _exactly_."

"Well I got in the car and saw Edward in the backseat. By the way, I do not appreciate you guys sending me in there for nothing. Anyway, we just stared at each other until my phone rang and I picked it up without looking at the caller I.D. and Mike started talking to me. At first I was pretty disgusted but then I realized that there was no point in waiting for Edward to ask me out so I agreed to go out with Mike after he asked. I feel much better now!"

"NO!" Bella jumped from my sudden outburst. "Bella this isn't funny. Tell me your joking!"

"Knock it off Alice. Why would I be kidding about something like this? Now I can finally get over Edward!" I looked at Rose again but she still looked skeptical.

"Oh please Bella." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Obviously this is some sort of joke. I mean, really!? Mike Newton!? You could've at least tried to make it believable."

"It is believable! Look, I'll call him for confirmation right now!" Bella immediately handed her phone over to Rosalie.

"Hey Bella. I see you can't wait to go on our date since you just had to call me now." I heard Mike purr into the phone. Rosalie's eyes widened.

"Hey Mike! Listen, I was thinking we could go to that new restaurant that opened last week in Port Angeles after we go to the movies!" Bella said after she took the phone from Rosalie's limp hand. She walked away chattering happily. While she was gone I took the time to snap Rosalie out of it.

"Rose?" She stared at me blindly for a minute, then abruptly became angry.

"IS. SHE. SERIOUS!?"

"Looks like it." I replied dejectedly. Rosalie marched off towards Bella and snapped her cellphone closed.

"Hey!"

"Bella, stop lying to yourself. Mike Newton is... just WRONG. I mean you were just moping about Edward earlier and now its all about Mike!?"

"Ohhhhh. I get it now." Bella looked concerned.

"You do!?"

"Yeah. Look if you like Mike so much all you have to do is tell me." Rosalie froze for just a second but it was enough time for me to get over there before she pounced on Bella.

"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF LIKING MIKE NEWTON!!!!" I held on to her arm while she vented her fury at Bella.

When she was done with her rant, Bella looked calm shaking her head slowly. "Under normal circumstances I would have been very upset with you for insulting my future boyfriend. But I understand your jealousy. I urge you to just get over it Rosalie. It'll be hard to be friends if you're constantly crushing on Mike. And what about Emmett? If you don't really have feelings for him then you should break up with him now. Leading a person on is just wrong. Now if you'll excuse me... I have a call to make."

I heard a laugh from behind me and I saw Edward doubled over with tears streaming from his eyes. Rosalie's face went even redder than it was before and Bella collapsed in a fit of giggles.

_They better not be laughing over what I think they just did..._

_**BPOV**_

"I- I- I- HA HA HA!" I tried to get the words out but there was no use. I crawled to Edward and held on to him for dear life as we continued to laugh at the hilarity of the situation.

I, Bella Swan, had just accused Rosalie Hale of liking Mike Newton with a straight face.

Well, it WAS a straight face until I saw Edward standing directly behind Alice, laughing. And who could blame him? Rosalie had blushed more in that accusation than I had ever seen her blush before.

Edward soon collapsed, taking me with him. Jasper and Emmett who had been standing in the exact same place where I told them I was going on a date with Mike, hurried over chuckling.

"EMMETT STOP LAUGHING!" Rosalie punched him in the arm and Emmett immediately stopped laughing. Edward and I were calming down until we saw Emmett clutch his arm in pain. Alice leaned down and once her face completely obscured my vision she said one of the most dreaded words in my vocabulary.

"You. Me. Shopping. Tomorrow."

"No, Alice!" I stopped laughing and shot straight up, almost knocking into Alice.

"After you completely scared the crap out of me you totally deserve it. C'mon Bella- Mike Newton and you DATING!? That's practically the apocalypse!"

"But shopping!?"

"Would you like _Rosalie_ to decide how you'll pay us back?" I looked at Rosalie. She was still scolding Emmett but she looked a lot like a raging bull. Sensing my distress, Edward came to my rescue.

"How about we consider each other even Alice?" He put his arm around me and my skin tingled from the contact. Alice noticed my grin and she smiled in response.

"Fine. Wouldn't want to take away all the time for you two lovebirds." She glanced hopefully at Edward. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper looked at him too.

"It's true," Edward confirmed. Rose and Alice squealed.

_**APOV**_

"FINALLY!" My knees hit the wet ground and my face was upturned towards the sky. Everyone laughed at my expression. I don't understand how this is funny. Ever since Edward spilled his lunch on Bella and they began their fighting, I knew they would be perfect for each other. And my family decides to LAUGH when it actually happens? They should be rejoicing or thanking the heavens or something!

"Wait, why did Mike Newton say you two were going out?" Rosalie looked at Bella, confused. I had been wondering that myself but when your brother and best friend become an item you don't question how it happened. You accept and applaud the higher power that brought them together!

"Oh." Bella scowled and Edward looked away, smiling. "I figured either you or Alice or both would get suspicious of me at some point so I had to _actually_ ask him out." Emmett burst out laughing at the obvious disgust in Bella's voice.

"Go fix the Porsche, Emmett." Rosalie snapped but she didn't fool me. I could see her shoulders shaking. Emmett must've seen too since he just smirked and stayed where he was.

Bella took her hand and forced Edward to look at her. When she saw that he was smiling she punched him in the shoulder. "OW!"

"Finally, someone else gets hit," Emmett muttered.

Bella ignored him. "You deserved it." She turned her back to him. Edward retaliated by tickling her.

"Edward stop!" Bella started laughing madly and tried to pry Edward's hands off of her but it was futile. I had to document this cute moment so I took out my cellphone and took a picture. Esme would probably want to see this.

"Bella, I didn't know you were ticklish!" Emmett grinned mischievously. Bella tried to glare at him but the laughing ruined the effect.

Eventually we all just crowded around in the Jeep and hoped that no one would vandalize my beautiful Porsche while we were gone.

The whole time, Bella and Edward were in their own little world. Engaging in their own conversation. Not talking to anyone else outside their bubble. They were laughing with each other; everyone else was either discussing the crappy movie or observing the lovebirds.

And Jasper said I shouldn't meddle. Pssh.

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**AN: I apologize for any typos. Tell me if any of them are too bad and I'll fix it. **

**So the story's done now. Thanks for reading and reviewing and not burning me at the stake for taking so long to update... ****  
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